if you lose your VIRGINITY to a jerk and you end up prego n you tell him about n he tells you that he will make you drink a fifth in front of him and push you down the stairs what do you do? then when you end up actually miscarrying for other reasons he comes back CRYING and tells you that hes sorry and he loves you and he wants to be with you and all that crap... what do you do? is this really love or is it a lie and he is just using your hard painful time to get what he wants while you are down... i sometimes miss him... but then i hate him... and i still love him at the same time... how can you feel soo many ways about only one person... especially one that is as mean as that and someone that has treated you that bad?