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cactusinoasis's blog

 

i never had..........

How can I explain the guilt inside my heart after I draw the conclusion of  surrendering my emotions.
I thought it was the best thing to do. But why pain still lingers on me. I already reprimand myself to
stop giving special concerns to him as it wont help. Then, why I can't let go of this feelings?

I rather choose to stay away from him becoz things will just come complicated if I stick to the magical influence
of his love. I dare not to fall for him again. It drives me crazy and teary. So giving up is what left on my mind.
By doing this courageous act, I though it will release me from worries and bitterness. Despite of certain hope that
love will no longer exist inside of me, it makes me more sensitive to bridle my emotions. Is there any other way
of hiding from his love? I thought its a brilliant idea not to pursue this feeling but when can I realize
that his love is not belong to me. Instead, I found myself deeply falling again and again....

here I am again.....How come I allow myself to be fool again?
How can I let go for the feelings i wish he had also for me?
How can I take away his love if I never felt the same from him?
And how can I say goodbye to the person that I NEVER HAD...........?????

2009-03-23

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Comments

JungleJim
JungleJim
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I liked this very much...its something I don't usually read about but which I'm going through myself lately. Its someone who touced your heart...in a way you never knew before and can't explain, though you've been in love before. I think this happens mostly to someone who's fallen in and out of love, many times (who has been hurt before) and who has become weary seeking an ideal True Love...believing in true love. Now feeling this new feeling in someone you believe them to have a special place in your heart. This is a reflection of both how lonely you are inside, how high your hopes are; that you also believe this person to be that special one in a million. Likely it has less to do with his physical appearance and more with the special feeling you get from him....You are in Love. You cannot easily wish this feeling away and really you don't wish to. But you can't beg and pull at him. Sadly you must make a promise to yourself to try not to rely on this feeling but to neither deny it. I guess you might pray to your God for guidance and hope that fate is kind and leads this man to you. And you, you are bound to just treat him with the kindness that comes naturally to you. If so, there is a chance he will too begin to feel the special feeling you do. (Well this is my plan anyway, to hang onto the dream of love a little longer....)

PS: Be sure to say hi to Michael Jackson for me!!
 


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