So sad....it hurts so much..in proportion to how much you cared. Don't let your heart be bitter. Realize that part of what is hurting is your dreams. Deep down you likley care about him too. You can keep that care.....don't let it hurt you. It's actually very peaceful when you realize, just realize, that you care about someone. It means you have a heart. In time, you'll dream again and the pull and sadness won't feel as strong as they do now. Now is the time to spend time with friends and family....let someone care for you a little and also be kind to others. Many times we look to others to be kind and are sadly disappointed. Give your kindness freely and try not to be let down if it is not returned. In time you'll see some good come of it and the grace you receive will help your heart to heal. Sorry for you, what you're going through. All that you write is from the heart!...