i love you... what do you think of when you see these words? i think of pain... my x used to call me names, cheat on me, yell at me, and just treat me bad... is that what you do when you love someone? if so then i dont know what i have been doing all this time.. i always believed his lies because if i didnt then he would yell about how i dont trust him enough. i shouldnt have.. he lied about how he felt, lied about the amount of girls he slept with, and he lied about the most important thing of all... LOVING ME.... i believed him and his lies for soo long its hard to tell the truth anymore...
i tried to make him happy and he would be...until something else came up and he didnt get his way. i fell in love with who he was when i first met him... he was nice, i could tell him anything, he was soo loving and i felt secure in his arms in a way that i have never felt b4... i loved being by his side and it still hurts not bein there now even tho he is with someone else now and he doesnt care about me. i love him to this day and i miss the old him b4 the little baby came out, by that i mean he got whiny when he didnt get his way... i mean idk when he was in a good mood he could make anyone laugh but when he got mad all i could do was cry cuz there seemed to be nothing i could do to make it better for him and i wish i could have. maybe then he wouldnt have cheated maybe i would have been enough... i miss the way things used to be, i miss being in his arms... i miss him bein there when i needed him. he took a lot more than my virginity when he left me... he took the last piece of my heart that i had left.
if this is what being in love is supposed to be then i dont want it anymore... i dont want to love someone just to get hurt by them i dont think i can give up anymore of myself to someone that just wants to play games. 
if this is what sayin i love you gets me then my lips are sealed....