Dear Dad.

Thanks for being there. NOT you never was there for me.
i wish all my life i could of said thts my dad. and you
was never there for me to say tht. I had to say theres
my STEP DAD. look how proud he is for me. My fuckin
real father could not even bare to show up to a skwel
play tht i worked so hard on i told you i wanted you to
be there for me so i could show you so you could be proud
of your daughter but you said i dont kno i might have to work
But that was your excuse for everything to me. You said you
would be right over to pick me up for the weekend. A few
hours later i get a phone call from someone tht is sluring there words
and can barely talk to me. It was you dad. You told me you were at work.
I didnt believe you tho.  I new just where you were at. I new you stoped at the
bar you might of planned to come and pick me up but the point is you stood
me up you played me like a fool and Now im 16 yrs old. I have a kid she
is so speacial to me and curtis. i would never dare leave her side. Curtis
devotes all his time into her except when he is working and saving his
money so lilly can go to collage. Dad did you ever save anything for me.?
did you actually care about me like me and curtis care for lilly.? No you left
mom when she was six months pregnant with me. and put her in jail when you
new tht my sisters would never be the same again they got put into foster homes
until she got out to get her lil angels outta that hell hole. she would of done the same
for me. my mom loves me my mom cares about everything i do. she makes sure im safe
you have never made sure i was alright you didnt have the corrige to even come up
to the hospital when i got into a car acciendt but you wanted to see your lil boy Seth
when he got into a car acciedent. I love my lil brother so much i do trust me but
there is certain things in this world i could be fuckin pissed at and my dad seeing seth
in the hospital and then not coming to see me its just not fair. i cried everyday i was there
i just wanted my dad to actually care for me. i just wanted him to see i was hurting so much
inside i missed him so much. i just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was gonna
be okay to my face even tho we all kno it wouldnt be okay but for that moment it would be.
he said it to me over the phone not to my face. That made me cry even more i wanted my dad
there and he wouldnt come. Then he didnt even come to my bby shower or when she was born
he calmed he had to work even tho he was laid off. but you kno he is not a dad to me ne more.
i have relized tht in the past few years He is no father to me he is not father material he is trash
material. I wish my step father would of created this not you i hate you i hate what you made me.
i hate all the cuts on my wrist are from you. i hate all the time i cried over you. i hate tht i thought you
loved me. i hate you and i will always fell this way.!

PS father or darren whatever i feel like calling you today. i hate you remeber all the past cuz thts all you will have of me to remember and when you hear i got married and you wasnt invited and you sit there and wonder just remember all the shit you put me thro. when you hear Mike walked me down the isle and you sit there wondering remember its wat you made. what you always wanted no kids.


-Ashley