That's a lot to deal with at 15 but it is your fate. There are two things going on here. One you can see...one you can't see because you are young.
You're only 15 and shouldn't be seriously dating anyone. That only leads to trouble as it already has and trouble has a way of deepening. You're beginning to realize now.. You'll miss your boyfriend for a little while and once you're away you'll realize that if he loved you he would not have involved you in a gang life. His jail sentence is a wake up call for you. Move on....this problem in your life is the easier to the two to face and do something about. By 18 or 20 something you'll know more about who you are and what man is best for you. Wait until then to date (I'm not joking..you'll have a better life if you do).
With your dad. Realize that Stage 4 cancer sounds very scary and it is. But many people get treatment and have long remissions. It's something to be hopeful about. Your focus should be now to continue with school and to try to do your very best....that's to prepare yourself for the uncertain future. It will also be a source of happiness and pride for your dad. Your other focus should be to give him love and care at a time when he's hurting and worried about life itself and about you.
Whatever happens....be prepared for a hard road. It may be hard for a while but it will get better. If it means moving away from the area...accept that. It may later show itself to have been the best thing for you. At times in your life things get really hard and hard to accept and bear. It's a good time to ask God into your life. God loves you and has a purpose for you. When you give up some of your hurt and sadness and worry to him he will help you through. I'm certain about that.
I have a poem on Poemhunter.com called CANCER PRAYER for the caregiver (or something like that). There is also chat available..maybe it will help in a small way.
Good luck and don't ever lose hope for yourself.
Keep your heart. I know you love him. A young woman's love is most sincere, however misguided. You're going to have heartache either way. Know that I felt obligated to say what I feel and know from having a daughter myself who was hurt. Forget about dating now...it will only derail your life. Bigger things are at hand now.
Anyway, God bless you. I wish the best for you.
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