 | I can’t believe that the pains not gone
I want it to end I just want to move on
And as it twists and as it turns inside
I do my best not to cry, so instead I hide
I hide the guilt and I hide the shame
For as I see it in my eyes, I’m the one to blame
I always fall and I always fail
But why must I suffer, I go through hell
No one there no one by my side
I cover up my lies as I really want to die
Tears fall from my eyes as I realize;
I’d be another victim of teen suicide
Listening to others this is why I cry
Can’t take it no more I want to end it all
Cut my wrists overdose and give God a call
And then you wonder how things got this bad
Watching me suffer like this, kill myself and you say it’s sad
Well tanks to others pushing me to go this far
Tormenting me so bad that I loose it all
Through the grave, through the world this is what I saw
A group of kids living life, having fun and so much more
Good grade, good friends as I sit in doors
Suffocated lost, and all alone
No where to be comfortable I wish I felt at home
Can't breath, can’t seem to change at all
And every time I try to get up I seem to fall
Tired of the sickness and tried of the hurt
I’m tired of this life I live and being treated like dirt
And you didn’t see me in all this pain,
But if you did who’d be to blame
As tears fall from my eyes
I think cautiously in my mind how I’m going to die
Should I overdose on pills and try to end the pain
Or grab a knife and cut through the shame
Or while I lay upon my bed will I
Grab a gun and put it to my head
But as I think about this decision to end my life
I realize it’s not so smart nor is it wise
So at that very moment, I lay before God
Asking him why he wants me, to keep moving on
My life so far has been full of hurt and full of pain
I can’t even look in the mirror without being ashamed
And every time I smile it's nothing but unreal
For I want to cry so bad, and that’s always how I feel
So what is the purpose for me to stay alive?
I guess he’ll reveal it in his own time. |  |
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