the failure that i had with my past made me realize something, not all things about love is wonderful, Love without sacrifice is indeed fake.
you have to suffer in order to learn. One must be cautious in choosing the person they will intend their heart to.

i was so sad when he left me, so sad that i thought i'd die, die in loneliness and in missing him. It really hurts to know that he was not half affected, he's too busy in his own new world.

But i was still loved by fate, because he gave me another nice being, in the person of my beastfriend, who helped me get through that certain crisis in my life. He was with me through thick and in thin, he never get tired in listening to all my problems, and neither did i realize that i am still gonna end up with him.(hilarious!) i never find him as much of a boyfriend type, for me he was just a friend, but i just don't know what had happened. i just became so attached to him, that i don't understand myself anymore, he was the one whom i constantly seek, and the memory of my frustrated past is no longer there.

i guess it's safe to say that i love my bestfriendn as more than a bestfriend should... call me guilty, but it is the truest of all trues, i just don't know if he feels the same way. and im not that brave to face the consequences of the things that i will soon do, maybe.