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hayhay's blog

 

The words you spoke....

I used to hold my head high....


walking down the street with a smile on my face


I used to smile and laugh carelessly


I used to be....


So much more then now



Now look at me....



hidden in my shell


to scared to let go


the words you spoke...


ringing in my ear


making me sad and depressed


did you care?


It's been a year or so



Now I can smile and laugh carelessly



yet...


I still don't see my own worth


Im not pretty...just plain


Im not smart...I know the basics


I can't accept compliments...


my mind just won't accept the things said


can't see the truth laid in-front of me


in my mind it's hard to accept


that people love me and care


and it's all because


of the words you used


to put me down and be little me


In your eyes I meant nothing


so therefore...


the words you spoke so often


now became the way my mind works


the functions changed and all the sudden


no more


Im not me...


not the person I used to be


I'll never be able to be just how I used to be


but now I have accepted the words you spoke so often


only show the person YOU truly were...not a reflection of me


Im getting better...


the words ringing in my ears are starting to fade


and...


my chin doesn't hang so low....

even with....


The words you spoke still ringing in my ear....











~ A poem about an ex boyfriend who was verbally abusive! It's been nearly 2 yrs yet some how the words he spoke about me still ring in my ear. I still have low self esteem and it's hard to accept that people love me and care or that truely maybe the things they say about how important I am, how smart and beautiful I am ....maybe they are true...but at this point I can't accept those things....and it's all becuz of him!~





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Comments

brokenhere
brokenhere
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see lol even you admitted your awsome, you just said you cant see it.. well wake up sis!
 
hayhay
hayhay
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One: I did not say "I know Im awsome though I just can't admit it"
I said I know there are things about me that are good but it's hard for me to see becuz of all the negative crap and all the low self esteem that he caused me...and no it's not the he you are probably thinking of.
Two: Hello dude I am awake...hehe
 
Roselia
Roselia
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Sheesh girly, I couldn't've put it better meself.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.. It's a bitch to go through, and the sucker get's to yah. The taunts and names and stuff embed themselves way way way up there in your brain and heart and inside you that, you can't withstand it nomore. You end up believing it, and lower yourself cause you think they're right. And that the light shines out of their ass, cause they know what they're talking bout aye?

A joke isn't a joke nomore when you've heard it 5 billion times. It cuts..

I got trillions of cuts from it... I've only just healed..

Im glad you've made a choice to move on chicky. It aint easy, but it certainly gets better..

Beaut poem my friend.

Take it easy yea..
 
hayhay
hayhay
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Yes it was really hard for me...he was like my first boyfriend in Middle School and yes it was hard and Im just now healing from it....
 
angela20
angela20
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angelagirl42030@yahoo.com
My name is angela, I saw your profile here at www.lovelandia.com and picked interest in you.I wish to be in love relationship with you and may be discover ourselves as real partners for life. This is my email adderss(angelagirl42030@yahoo.com) If you feel interested write me through the contact. I will be happy to see a good response from you Thanks and remain blessed. Please conatct me here(angelagirl42030@yahoo.com) so that i will send you my photo and tell you more about me ok.
angela.
 


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