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BY SEARCHING FOR POEMS BY JAMES T. ADAIR


The wedding I never knew
was the one I had dreamed of for you

You were my llittle girl
my precious daughter
for you I walked through rain and snow
through hell and high water

I was the one who dreamed of you
before you came
I was the one who chose your first name
and gave you my last one too

When I didn't have a car or money
I used to walk so far
just to find a bargain at a store
so I could buy you more

When you were injured I cleaned your cuts
when you were dirty I wiped your face
and brushed your hair
so you knew that I did care

At Hallloween and Christmas Time
I made you a stocking and a candle
and built a train set and gave from my heart
and to me you were always the best part

To see your happy face
took away my sense of fear
I was happy to be your dad
and to have you near

As I watched you grow
I tried my best to guide
and there was a time when it was me
in whom you would confide

Our friendship grew and grew
and I thought you always knew
that I cared so much about you
and loved you too

When we had nothing I was afraid
and counted all the mistakes I made
and at night it was for you I prayed
when everything inside felt frayed

I never once lied to you
most of the tears I ever cried were for you
I did everything in my power to do
to make the world better for you

so why is it I wonder
you chose to do the things you did
and never thought of me
I wish I could understand and see

But you never knew the dream I had
you never once did ask
it would only hurt to say how bright
but now just darkness
my days seem to have turnded to night

My little girl has gone away
left me and gone astray
sold it all for lies, you didn't realize
but your selfishness you could not disguise
and you are the reason for the tears in my eyes

long ago when I used to run with you and play
I knew all along that someday you would go away
and thought of how hard that might be
and cried even then at just the thought

I imagiend one day I would be asked in marriage to give you away
and in my fairytale mind I now rewind
I pictured me being torn both ways
to be happy in giving you away and at the same time sad
wishing you could somehow stay

I in my tuxedo holding back the tears
smiling though them I wished a good man for you
someone gentle and kind to you
but there was nothing I could do
to save you from you

My dream was not to be
my feared moment never came
I never got to feel that feeling proud
or to feel the mixed joy and sadness of your wedding
you didn't write or call
I wasn't notified at all
and you don't know how much that hurt me

When someone you love so much
who you've fought for each day
it hurts so much inside
when they toss you aside

and after they break your heart
they take your pride
and leave you kneeling on the floor
never even seeing or imagining
the tears you've cried
only God above knows
you gave your whole heart
and have nothing left
for all your trials
you always tried