THE COURTING OF IRENE

I first noticed Irene when she was at school

Her legs and her uniform I found really cool

Her and a tall blonde I always used to see

But Irene was the one who interested me

But being a Public school boy and rather shy

I didn’t tell her that she had caught my eye

So I left school and got a job down the street

And the stunning brunette I still didn’t meet

Then one day she appeared at my work

She’d accepted a job there and I just had to smirk

However my approaches were all met with a no

And my morale was sunk to a world record low

I asked her out often but never got a date

It was bloody frustrating I can tell you mate

One day I greeted her with the Ukranian words “dobri den”

Her attitude changed so I asked her out again

Those little words changed the rest of my life

As we ended up together as husband and wife

Before that however there was some work to do

As I had to win over her family too

I was the first Aussie fella allowed at her place

And her parents didn’t like the look of my face

They planned for her to marry a Ukranian bloke

Then I came along which was no bloody joke

Couldn’t speak the lingo and didn’t even drink

Oh what a bummer her parents did think

They imported Ukranians from far and from wide

But couldn’t get Irene away from my side

We got engaged unknown to her mum and her dad

And Irene told me that they would be bloody mad

Well after six weeks still no one knew

So I built up the courage to do what I had to do

I went to her home one night while she worked late

My body was shaking as I walked through the gate

Her father was scary and I couldn’t understand when he spoke

And I knew that he thought I was not the right bloke

I told him that I wanted his daughter’s hand

And he said something I couldn’t understand

However I was still alive and he didn’t seem too cranky

And as I left I cried in relief into my hanky

I was relieved and happy when I picked Irene from work

And I told her my story with a bit of a smirk

We never looked back after that night

And the family decided that I was alright