My life was always under,
A shadow of despair.
I always laughed and partied
And, pretended not to care.
I took what God had given me,
And threw it all away.
For one more hit, or one more shot
To stay up one more day.
I always tried to live my life
With no responsibilities.
I thought that I was doing drugs,
But the drugs were doing me.
I sometimes miss the friends I had,
And the good times that we shared.
But the good friends I remember,
They were never really there.
But I know it’s not their fault,
Now that I can see.
Their emotionally sick people,
Who made decisions just like me.
I never meant to hurt no one,
Though it may be hard to tell.
With all the thing Ive stolen,
And the lies I used to tell.
But when I look back threw my life,
What really bothers me.
Is all the pain and grief that I,
Have caused my family.
I used to think that I,
Was all I’d ever need.
But then my life became consumed,
With Money, Drugs, and Greed.
But one by one everything was gone,
And dope ruled every day.
The only goal that was in my life,
Was to stay as high as I could stay.
But something happened in my life,
Back in two thousand and four.
I started getting miserable,
I didnt want no more.
Rock Bottom” Is what it’s called,
And I knew that I hit mine.
I was a grown man on my grannys couch,
Who was running out of time.
Six years I spent in hiding,
Hoping life would pass me bye.
Gathering chemicals and crawling the woods,
Risking my life to just stay high.
I knew my life it had to change,
Or I was ready to lay down and die.
I didnt want to hurt no more,
And I was way to tough to cry.
It was a long road to recovery,
I strayed a time or two.
It took nine trips threw treatment,
Before I figured out what I had to do.
Not something you can just be told,
Be open, And honest with yourself.
For me its any lengths or any means,
To keep this junkie on a shelf.
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