Having a father,

That's what I always dreamed of.

Well, I take that back,

I've always dreamed of having a good father.

I already have a dad,

But he's not even close to being good.

Throughout me 15 years of life,

He never really was there for me.

I always wanted a relationship with him,

But that would never happen.

He's too concerned with his alcohol,

Oh, and don't forget about his drugs.

He's been an alcoholic pretty much his whole life,

And just can't stay away from alcohol.

Awhile back, I gave him a choice,

Either he remains an alcoholic or have a relationship with me.

He chose living his life,

As an alcoholic.

I remember everything about that day,

I mean everything.

It was a sunny day,

No clouds, no rain.

And out of the blue he called,

And said "Goodbye Tiffany".

I knew exactly what that meant,

He chose something over me.

I try not to let this bring me down,

It's alot harder than I thought.

I thought that maybe if he was out of my life,

Maybe I would be better off.

Things don't work out that easily,

I had to learn that the hard way.

People tell me that I need to forgive him,

And let him back in my life.

I can't do that,

At least not now.

He is the one person who caused me so much pain,

It hurts to even think that he once was a father to me.

It sucks because when he actually was a good father,

I can't remember because I was so young.

The only memories I have of him,

Are of his alcohol/drug abuse.

That's a sad way to remember a father,

But those are the only memories he left for me.

So next time you say I should forgive him,

Think about the pain he caused me.

Try to think that if he was your dad,

How would you feel if he put you through all that?

All I can say is that I'm a troubled teen,

And most of it is because of the father I've had.