(Beware its a long story!) Im in a very big Dilema. Well l have a boyfriend whom i know i love and he like worships me (sounds wrong but he loves me so much) and i know i love him..ive been with him for a very long time. But I have a friend that I believe i met first before i met my bf. But me and my friend became the very best of friends. I developed a little crush on him but u know he had a gf at the time too. And one day he told me he had one too as well. But then we just talked alot and we realized that we couldnt be together cause we were so alike he could be my twin and other people agreed. So as i was with my bf, and he with his girl. We would confort each other when we had problems with them. And he would give me the best advice, because it wasnt negative it was always positive. Anyways, its been about almost 4 yrs like that. And then he told me he was joining the navy. I was devistated but then happy for him cause i guess it made him happy. At first i made jokes and stuff about the navy and he got offended by it. I felt bad so i apologized and told him if he really does want to then okay i'll be happy for you. I just didnt really want him to leave, cause i was use to talking to him alot. Along a conversation before he left to the navy i told him "lets make a little pact", He said "alright lets hear it", I said " Well if things dont work out for us around in the future with our bf's and g'fs I think me and you should try to make it work and get married lol" He said "You know what its not a bad idea, i think we could make it work" i said "why is that" he said"cuz we know each other pretty well and when we fight we always know how to make up", I said "alright so like in 10 yrs we'll find out", He said " lol why 10 yrs i'll be all saggy then (he's only 22 and im 21 btw lol). I laughed and he said "When i come back from the navy and we see each other we should try", and i agreed. Anyways on May of this year he left to bootcamp. I told him to write to me, and he did and i as well. He didnt write long letters but i wrote him long letters just so he knows im here for him still. He was so miserable in bootcamp lol. And when i would get his letters every other week, and when they arrived i was like the happiest girl ever to hear from him, my parents thought he was more then a friend there like your cheating on your boyfriend huh im like no its my best friend im just excited to hear from him. They really didnt beleive that i didnt feel something for him. Well he graduated in July 3rd from bootcamp and was sent to Florida for some schooling and stuff that i still dont get. He got a phone and called me to let me know i could now call him or text him whenever i wanted. Well i went to tx to see my boyfriend cuz he's over there. And along the way i texted my friend here and there when i was over there, And when i came back to California (where i live) I texted my friend and told him wow your a stranger now. He got a little mad, and told me well when you were with JP (my bf) you didnt talk to me. And i told him I did and dont say i didnt cause u know i did. And he replied Im sorry just bare with me I dont have a computer and all but i will soon have time to communicate with you better". I told him thats it okay and i understand. Anyways we've just texted and talked here and there. And i dont know where along the way my feelings became stronger and stronger for him. The last week of July i called him umm High he thought i was drunk. I just said yeah i was drunk i didnt want to tell him i was high lol..And we talked for a long while. And was talking very sweet to me and i did too i told him i missed him alot. And he told me that he's going to get stationed in Japan!!!! My heart just sunked like i was really really sad. And he said he tried to get San Diego but it was late for him and they told him he was going to Japan anyway cause he has a good record. I acted like i was just happy for him which i am cuz he seems kinda happy. He said he could just think of me when he found out he was going, Cuz im he really cares for me and all. Well then later he texted me "Dont worry i'll take you with me" I said "Okay yay lol" and Then he said "Marry me" I said "I will". And we talked on the phone again and he's like so you want to get married with me? lol i said yeah i do lol. Well my birthday was Aug 3rd I turned 21 and my parents and my sister went to a bar and i got a little buzzed so I called him. And we talked and I was saying sweet things to him and so was he. And then he told me "Where did it all start?" Im like "What do you mean?" He said"Us like where did me and you just start after all these years?" And I just laughed and said "I dont know, where do you think it started?" He said "I beleived during bootcamp, because of the letters i enjoyed recieving your letters and was happy to hear from you" And i said "I think you are right cause i felt the same way when i recieved them". So i guess he also feels something for me?. Like i havent told him I like you so much yet, and Ive never asked him how he felt about me. But anyways he's coming back in 2 weeks! and he's going to see me ofcourse, but i feel like something is going to happen between me and him like a first kiss and all, it could probably go further i dont know!. And i have a bf..who ofcourse i still care for so much too. And honestly Ive never really broken up with a guy, I mean ive had boyfriends but like 2 weeks and 1 week stuff kinda that was in h.s..and ive been with my bf since i was 18. So I coudlnt break his heart and what if leaving him was not worth it. I mean my friend is going to japan for 4 years!! like he's hardly going to have any vacation time probably 30 days every year or 2 im not sure. Im so confused i dont know what to do. Ive never cheated and Im willing to do anything with my friend cuz there's something there and i dont know if it is love but i cant stop thinking about him, And when i see him im just going to be happy. I also told him "What would u do if i kissed you?" He replied "I will kiss you first". LOL so i dont know! im going so crazy about what im going to do. I mean he's only going to be here for 30 days then off to Japan and how will i communicate with him? umm letters again? computer? And he's like the other side of the country so i dont know. And as much as i care for any guy i do. I will not leave my Schooling behind for any guy im majoring into an Echocardiovascular Grammar. and i'll probably be Done by those 4 years he comes back. So i need some Advice on what i should really do I mean i dont want to leave my bf just for him cuz he is leaving me for Japan. And well yeah i think im just pretty much screwed. My friend also told me he wished he kinda didnt join the navy. I told him you were really excited to go though. And he told me "why didnt you stop me?". I told him "Well how could i you were so happy and proud of what you were going to do and i couldnt just say dont go stay here and for me? thats just selfish of me would u have even listened?". He said "If u tried i probably would have listened". lol So its my fault? lol but yeah i just dont know what to do with this and im falling so hard for him. so please help?