Here is the wisdom of hindsight. That's what your really wishing for here....some wisdom. Now wisdom is not always what we want to hear because at 17-25 years old we think we already know...but we don't.

Your Mother...You only have one...just her. Sorry to hear that you've lost your dad. At face value that give you more freedom, more free-will. Because your mother can cry and yell and scream all she wants to and it will do now good because you belive you're grown up. Well here's the first wisdom: (1) you only have one mother (Keep that in mind throughout. Wisdom (2) Freewill is a double-edged sword. It can cut both ways and the very thing you think is right now will later likely turn out all wrong if your decision is selfish. Wisdom (3) True Love cannot be rushed.....what appears to be a great 2.5 years secretly with your boyfriend meand nothing in the long term. How many years has your mother invested in you? Put that on an imaginary scale and see which means more and has more weight. Wisdom (4) What's The Rush?? Think about that?

Not knowing your mother I think this is pretty universal: Parents wish for their children's long-term happiness (not short term) They know more about life and love and they will do anything to shield their child from danger and sadness. Sometimes this seems like being unreasonable, inflexible and mean. But later you understand (usually after you've caused a lot of hurt and unhappiness to her and yourself). This might be a time to pull back from your boyfriend a little....remain friends for no. Let him know that you lost your dad and need to help out your mom for maybe a good year or so.

Wisdom (5) Learn to talk with your mom more as an understanding adult and she will begin to treat you more that way. Ask what vision she has, tell her yours, learn to give and take. Explore your own feelings deeper and be kind to her throughout. Mothers can be lifelong friends to daughters and the relationships remain close for life if nurtured.

Wisdom (6)...there is a difference between his saying he loves you and actually loving you....learn to realize the difference. If he loves you, he'll give you the spaece you need. If he doesn't...that's a red flag! Love must have deeds to have any meaning and is best told in the long-run. 2.5 years is nothing becuase it has occured in a vacume of childhood. Message: You don't really know who you are yet...you're just learning.

Advice: Commit to spending the next 1-2 years as a daughter, a young career woman, a friend. That's much better for you in the long run....better for your mother....better for your relationship (if it's meant to be THE ONE). My personal guess is likely not! That's not a put down...its just a fact that people don't really become who they are until they have a bit more life experience under their belts.

Wisdom # 7 - Here's the one you really won't like. There is a reaon you haven't told your mother about your relationship. That is, deep down, you have a sense that something isn't right about him. I've seen it 1000 times before....always indicates a problem. You say you don't want to disappoint your mother or start a fight. You already KNOW her reaction....but you're avoiding that you KNOW too. Do some soul-searching...take some time...don't rush.

Finally: getting back to freewill being a double-edged sword. You ultimately must decide what is best...not just for you but for your mom and other relatives. What type of life do you envision for them? What would you like to give them? See, you're becoming an adult and the decisions you must realize no longer involve just you.

But this weekend is Mother's Day. Reflect on what your mother really means to you and give her a nice weekend to be happy about. In time, you'll come to a decision about the right thing to do....however difficult to follow.

Toodles!!

well it seems that some 1 already took everything i wanted to say.. i could not said it better my self.....nice jim... i hope this help a lil... good work.... good advises....

Thank you soo much Jim,
That's great advice :)