What if I told you that,
Secretly I wish to run,
From all the madness,
The world to which I have succumb,

I take one step forward,
And fall a million miles backwards,
Books pushed to my face,
In futile attempts to make sway.

I know how much love you have given me,
It's just that now's not the time for me,
To be left alone, while you get busy,
In preparation for your own terms.

I wish to ask you to delay,
All your future plans ahead,
As the date nears,
My nerves tremble threatening to give way.

i feel lonely even in a crowd,
My happy exterior is but a shell i grow,
To protect my soft self,
But many shall never know.

The three whom i've grown to love,
How long shall they be with me,
I wish forever,
But as I chose one another walks another way.

As complicated as I may be,
Nobody has tried to figure me,
Thank heavens that is how it shall be,
The always lonely me.

Sometimes i crave,
For that temporary grave,
But where can I find this place?
That has master how to evade.

Tomorrow another day begins,
I emerge from sleep,
And prepare the mask,
That has grown with wear.

Day by day,
The real me behind,
Grows weaker and weaker,
As people expect another day of the joker.

When can I finally say,
This is not who I want to be,
The who I wish to be,
Is far from the person you may see me to be,

And so, i silently sigh,
And put my mental pen down,
To another day of hypocrisy,
That I have to walk in.