How to start a coal stove

Get some good dry split firewood
Get a nice sharp long-handled ax
and start splitting vertically
Best to hold that firewood still
if you're lucky you can balance it on end
and take a good whack at it

If not, try proping the bottom
with a couple of extra pieces
aim for the middle and give it a solid
Chop!!!
There, now take those pieces and repeat
you'll need a few of these

Now take these and chop them in half
horizontally so you end up with a lot
of thin half-pieces and some thicker wedges

What wood you can stack and hold
between two hands should be enough

Open the flue full
Open the bottom draft only
make sure your grate is clean

Get a sheet of rolled newspaper and light it
wait until it really catchs a nice flame
and hold inside the stove up high
as high as possible to the chimney exit
this will start your draft
You'll know because the flame will jump
right up the chimney with a whooshing sound

drop that burning paper to the bottom of the stove
now get your smallest pieces of cut wood
and drop them criss-cross fashion
over the flame
they should immediately light
(which feels nice on a cold evening)
Don't be impatient....
Close the door so you don't lose the draft
you'll hear feel cool air being draw into
the lower draft regulator
lick your fingers and you'll feel the coolness of the air
if you can't actually feel the draft

Now open the door and drop in some larger pieces
again, criss-cross fashion
Close the door again
this time you should hear an louder whooosh!
Now your on the way to a hot fire

Take your ANthracite or Bit coal
and shovel in, a small scoop
close the door to keep the draft
you should hear a little crackling
wait a few.. about the time to take a
few good sips of beer
or a few long kisses with your imagined honey
wait...maybe a few more sips of beer

Shovel in a larger shovelfull and repeat the process
you should now be able to peek in
and hear lots of crackling
see some larger yellow/blue flames
If you hear that crackling coal....you're in business
Keep adding scoops of coal and you've got yourself
a nice coal stove to keep you warm for the evening
nothing like warming your hands near it
and your spirits too
Its a great time to contemplate your day
where you've been and where you want to go

Life's enjoyment is in the little things!