 | I have filled these voids full of hurt&is ALL I can I take…
These pains and tears have flooded my heart, soul&spirit…
In fact truly the me I once knew they have drowned out all together…
All that I am, All I can do, All there is 4me 2give…
It IS, &is ALL, and has been given beyond my own real capablility…
Could it be in me, or is it in the hearts and spirits I trusted in also 2B?
The fog is so dense, the smoke is 2dark, &pains have me in a state of shock…
Where 2turn, how 2B, when 2stop, how far 2go is an unanswered question now & always.
Whether 2stand & sit up, or stop & lay down my guard, I still don't know…
Maybe its best 2build a barrier up high again & make it 4ever unbreakable this time…
Seeking answers 2questions that I still don't really even understand the reasons of Y….
Where 2start…when 2go…how 2stop…WILL I EVER REALLY SEE?
Just what does it takes from inside or out or within everything yet 2B…
ANYTHING & EVERYONE I have ever known that has built me up….
It seems it was just 2let me fall when I trusted & doubted nothing at all…
Now its laid seed 2this doubt in everything and anything that is near & dear 2me…
Where did the exit door go? why did it disappear? am I truly trapped in the reality of what I feel & see?
Is it possible that I have become so weak I cannot stand upon my own 2feet?
Should I surrender letting this agony break me down to where I cannot see light?
Truly I say to me, that this is the option of only options that I can figure out to be…
Yet I cannot allow this 2become what seems 2B the inevitable & meant 4me…
2B honest, its been a desire that has burned deep inside 2many times LONGING for it all 2end.
It took, taking the step upon the ledge, with only 1more needed 2B, 2open my eyes for my heart 2C.
For I have 3other hearts that beat within my heart, running deeper than my own.
Its these angels that have blessed my life giving a light, 2help guide me in this time of darkness.
The exit doors were taken away, when they were brought 2my life each on their own day.
But where is my strength, why can't it be found 2lift me up so I can shine also 4them?
I love them more than I could EVER have found Love of myself or any soul who left me.
Its for them I must throw salt in the wounds 2take away this deathly infection.
Its for them I must wash off this blood staind heart that seems only 2find stabbings & pains because I believed..
Its for them I must stand up & focus through this dizziness & pounding head of thoughts & self pity.
Its for them I must live again, wake up, 4get these nightmares ripping me from inside out stealing all my joy.
Its for them I cannot allow me 2die, NEVER give up, & wipe this tear B4 I see their eyes.
Its for them I am still here 2day, knowing its not an option 2go away, there is no exit.
Its this pain I BEG 2leave me now & is the screaming of my heart thats trapped within itself cries.
I'm worn down from broken trust, deceit, selfishness and promises full of lies. |  |
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