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The leaves have mostly fallen
and the wind and rain
must have been calling
and they dapple the wet grass
with their Fall colors

This is my 50th Fall
and me I've fallen too
like the wet leaves under my shoes
slipping
I've lost my way
and no longer know what to do

Or where I truly belong
so I try to be strong
but often fail
as I follow an unknown lonely trail
wishing along the way
for a break oneday

They say God helps
but better helps those
who help themselves
So I try each day for a start
but see no end in sight
to the things that bind my heart
and make me restless
or make me cry in the night

Along the way, there are some
who have made me feel welcome
and I give them a part
of my very heart
because good people are hard to find
this life I lead is broken
and what's on my mind
I cannot rewind

My past is what's hurting
and hurting so much
yet I hang on to its memory
like a crutch
Like the wind and the rain
pulling leaves from each tree
my once bright colors
have fallen from me

Where doea a man go
when the winds howl and blow
and there is no safe place
and no warm embrace
no arms open wide
that don't ask for anything of him
that he can't give
hurting inside

Winter is coming
the days have grown short
and its going to be a cold one
I read the report
But my heart is never ready
for the coldness
and the lonliness

I want to paste the leaves back
to the bare trees
and imagine them in Springtime
alive and flowing in the breeze
rich in their shades of green
and me, inside I silently scream
hanging onto a lost dream

I pick up a leaf
slippery in my hand
and feel its veins and smooth
All these leaves on the ground
each has a forgotten story
I feel my heart move

©  James T. Adair