Here i am,
losing myself again,
all because,
i cant seem to get over you.
dont know why,
dont really care,
i just want to be happy again.

im sick of this numbness,
i want to feel overwhelming joy,
not sadness,
i want to feel the way i used to feel when i was with you.
i want to find my edward,
and i want the chance to be someones bella.

i want a song to be ours,
i was butterflies whenever im around you,
i want to find myself in your arms,
i want to be happy,
i dont want to be self conscious around you,
i want to be able to be me.
i want you to love what i love,
and accept me for me.

some people get this,
why cant i?
maybe im being impatient,
what if he never shows,
what if when i look around the corner,
he walks away?

when i do find him,
what if i do something stupid,
what if i push him away,
what if im not good enough,
what if cant keep him,
long enough to say
that i love him.
what if he cuts?
what if he drinks?
what if he smokes?

all these questions....
i cant take much more.
its getting harder and harder,
to see him with her,
but i will prevail,
i will move on,
i will no longer hurt,
i will survive,
because
its in me to do my best.
and i will succeed.
i will make it =] eventually