I remember the day I saw her in real life. Blood and flesh.I had seen pictures of course, spent hours surfing her internet pages with a trembling body; this was the girl he loved better. Her I could never be.

The look on his face when she bounded up to us was unspeakable. Hopeful and so anxious. He steps towards her as she approaches and every piece of me aches for destruction, to slam her to the pavement by her disgusting blonde hair.

"LOOK AWAY!" my self preservation screams to me, but i was in far too deep for that. Now he has a hand on her head, his mouth gently whispering secrets to her ear.

...this breaking inside of me...

They begin walking towards me, sitting on the bench. I am instantly aware of my unbrushed hair, the clothes I had slept in last night and my puffy, no make-uped face. Of course this would happen to me. And there was the person I hated most in this world. Standing there in seeming perfectness, blue eyes dripping with distain.

"This is Jayla" he says. I'm not sure if he was looking at me because for once, I wasn't looking at him. And I couldn't tell you if he even felt saddened by this disgraceful meeting, for I have never been given the privilage of knowing Ace's truth.

"Hi" she snarls at me, sliding her eyes towards his with a sarcastic giggle.The female instinct inside me seethes hot, but then, to my shock he breathes a laugh as well, so gentle but there. To please her. My mind spins, this is not the boy I know, not my Alias. She taps her foot, "well....". It's obvious that, like me, she is used to getting her way with him, it's also painfully obvious that in the matter of me and her..she wins.

...this breaking inside of me...

"Move Now" my insides scream once again. This time I listen, pushing myself against the gravity that wants to drag me to the ground. I make it to around the corner. One hand against the wall I stand, gagging. This subsides as there's nothing in my stomach to throw up.

Since this morning when he had explained that he can't love me like I need to be, I hadn't been able get much down. After hearing that his ex was back in town and, suprise, the reason behind all of this, food wasn't even involved in my thought proccesses.

I drifted through the days of her invasion. Her presense obliterating every normal aspect of my life. Ace, my family. The only stablity I think I've ever had. And it wasn't real. Hadn't I told myself just that so many times though? So why did it feel like I was dieing?

I blew up his cell, trying desperately to monopolize his time. Every second he was with me was definate confirmation that he wasn't with her. I fucking hated seeing him. That wasn't even enough to stop me though. He told me so many times, to stop. Something wouldn't let me. And despite my frantic hysteria, I knew he'd be mine again.

This proved to be true, but I never realized that the after-hurt is just as bad as the in-the-moment hurt. And it also has the ability to turn a sweet person so bitter.