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A day in winter »

Can Yew...

By xXxBriBabeszxXx
11.09.2009
3 comments
Love Poems
heart tears eyes


	Can you feel the tears roll down her cheek Can you hear her heart breaking when you leave Can you see the pain in her eyes when you look at her I bet you dnt even notice But now...just now She cnt hear the tears roll down her cheek Or see her heart breaking when you leave Or feel the pain in her eyes when you look at her But she knows...She can tell The tears are coming Her heart is breaking And the pains taking ovr her...

Justpassingthrough

70 days ago Reply

Just a critique: I think those colors you chose just don't go together well on the computer screen. Also the "yews" and "z's" thoughout the poem already seem dated and detract a lot from it.

On a brighter note: The poem itself was really nice and captured the sadness of the moment. The centered type was a nice touch.

xXxBriBabeszxXx

70 days ago

thanxx i changed it

Justpassingthrough

70 days ago Reply

Reads so much better : )
Maybe it's my cheap LCD computer screen...but that lime green type seems to turn electric against the pink background....it's still a struggle to read. If it looks good on your end....it may just be my computer.

It's nice you're trying different things....shows you have some good creativity.

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