1) He tells you he's in love on the first date
2) He's wearing more than one gold chain
3) The fingernail on his pinky is intentionally not clipped
4) He tells you he's Ex-military and shows you his gun
5) He has facial hair and wears sandals (to attract stoners)
6) Or just wears sandals
7) Or sandals with socks
8) Or worse...sandals with black socks with a hole in one
9) He has tattoos on his fingers (so he can read them)
10) He looks more than once in his car mirror(and he's not looking at cars)
11) He keeps checking his cell phone and won't let you see his incoming texts..
12) He asks you for money on the first date
13) He's over 30 and still lives with mom
14) He only calls you while intoxicated
15) He doesn't return your calls
16) He doesn't know your birthday after a year of dating
17) He doesn't like your coffee even though you drink it every day
18) He doesn't remember your last name
19) He doesn't ever take you out
20) He doesn't tell you he doesn't have a job for 5 years
21) He makes fun of you with his friends
22) He mutters other girls names in his sleep
23) He sucks his thumb
24) He picks his ear with a matchstick
25) He licks his hand and brushes his hair with it
26) He blows his now by holding his finger on one nostril
27) You catch him picking and flicking and he denys it
28) He eats too much garlic and it comes out of his pores
29) You catch him checking out guys
30) He spots a hair on your nipple and brings attention to it
31) He falls asleep after heavy petting
32) He falls asleep in in moving cars...which he is driving
33) He doesn't ask for directions even when its now obvious even to him that he's lost
34) He controls the remote but loses it entirely
35) He comes home smelling like perfume or baby powder
36) He's obnoxiously loud and crude at movie theaters
37) He makes right turns from the LH land without signaling
38) He tailgates elderly and gives them the finger and when you complain he punches you
39) He pops wheelies with you on the bike
40) He farts and leaves marks
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