Hello vehl, you are facing a girl of confusion. Maybe you are also confused. Emotion and feeling is something uncertain which comes and goes easily. You have her in your mind, but friends could also be like that too. You want her to be the one for the rest of life. If she attracts you, what is it? Her characters? Beauty? Her acts and words? Ask yourself. Is she an ideal image -- only created by you? What is your stand point, at the very beginning. Give yourself some room and time, keep observation and recording for what you feel. This website could be some place for your ventilation.