You are absolutely right. The hate comes from the disappointment of expectation. Perhaps it's clearly stated and still the person only sees what he/she wants to see. Sometimes love clouds the mind and removes our ability to think logically. When one heals is when he/she really chooses to love unconditinally. Love is not to be forced on anyone. If he/she disappoints you if you really love them you forgive and respect their decision. In my own experience I knew this logically but had to come to terms with accepting the person I loved didn't love me as intensely as I loved him. Now I embrace what I experienced instead of regretting and wasting my energy hating another. In the lone run I only hurt myself.