 | My story maybe twisted but take time to read it. Have you heard this quote before? A cute guy can open my eyes, a smart guy can open my mind but only a sweet guy can open my heart. But which of these three senses should I trust?Well, my dilemma started just recently I dont know what to trust or believe, everything feels like a dream. Sometimes I even wish they weren't that much so I'd instantly knew it was Him. I recently moved to where I'm currently living right as to this moment. I've been living here for 10 months now, that's how long I've known the three of them. I'll refer to them by their characteristics to make it easier.
The Cute one wasn't all that cute if you really looked at him, but something drew him to my attention probably because he had a striking resemblance to one of the cute actors from where I came from. I've always thought he was cute but never as in never(until now) talked to him, though fate drew us together at times. Like he caught the bus at my bus stop, and once or twice I saw him at the train station. What I really thought was fate was when I saw him during this time when the trains broke down and in order to get home we had to take a bus. It was a long ride, I could've talked to him, mind you this was during a saturday and the ride was almost like half an hour. During the holidays, I hardly left my house and when I did I saw him and the next day too when I came home from a day with my friend. Isn't it fate? But as it is fate, I know that it will never work out, but I think he's important in my life all the same.
And now for the other two, well for starters they're close friends. Hhmm... the three of us even had three some convos online. But, these past few weeks even if the trio of us were online, we just didn't do it anymore. We each had separate convos to one another.
Now about the Smart one, he is smart but he is funny and athletic as well. He makes me laugh with his wit and irony. He wasn't the loud type and he drew my attention when I was new. I wondered who he was and stuff. I thought he was cool, I liked him for a bit I admit. But when I got to know him I liked him genuinely as a friend. He was cool, we had the same taste in music and usually in convos he gives me the names of the songs he found good at the moment. We were in the same class and really close but not like you would see us talking a lot in school. I got over the fact that I used to like him, but then once there was a soccer game and he was captain. He was meant to choose a girl, there were heaps left and he chose me,mind you I suck at every sport. There were hoots from people I might be paranoid so I shook it off me. Later that day, when I was walking home with a friend, she told me that he Liked me. I was shocked, I so did not expect that. But then maybe that was before ,so I chose to ignore it. And as fate loves to play jokes on me, last Saturday I met up with a couple of friends to celebrate her birthday, and the night before I found out he was going there as well, but not with us. And he was like let's meet up and so we did the next day. He was with his friends, and I was talking to one of them,as she and I were talking WE (him and me) were staring at each other the whole time. I felt something different. Not once did we talk that day, except on the phone to say where we'd meet up, but I felt like that eye contact we had was more than a million words spoken. And no I did not ditch my friend, I only met up with them for like 10minutes, before the said time for my friend's celebration. Later that night, the friend he was with asked me if I liked LIKE him. And me being the chicken I am responded "I'm not sure I'm confused." Why would she ask me that question out of the blue? It's either she sensed something from me or from him. But I think he asked her.
What do you guys think? Are you still following onto my story or have I confused you completely? there's one more guy...
About the SWEET one, I've known him cause he was in my class when I first moved schools, but not once have we talked then. I've only started getting close to him these past 4 months, and it feels like I've known him for YEARS. We started chatting not too long ago, and talked. At first glance, he seemed to me like a guy with a bloated ego and an obsession with working out. But I thought wrong, he was quite caring and he had a Personality too. Soon, we were pretty close and he asked if he could be like my brother and I would be his sister, just so he could always be there for me. How sweet and he's really sweet to me in every way. We talked for hours online and with him boredom was never happening. Though we don't have much in common it feels like we connect in more depths than anyone I ever knew. I sometimes think that all of this is just powered by my over-active imagination. But then soon he told me I love you, personally and online. He gave me emoticons with hugs, and once he asked for a hug in school. I bluntly refused cause one of my classmates was there, and mind you he's the gosippy type. He gossips about the Smart guy and me though I had no inkling why. He hates my guts and well I haven't been the nicest person with him too. We had a love-hate friendship. We tease each other for fun,well that's what the picture is for me, I dont take anything he says personally. I apologize for changing the subject. Back to him, I so did regret not hugging him then. Because little did I knew that he was feeling really down that time. A few days later and it was the last day for school, that time we hugged goodbye and it felt good and awkward at the same time. Did I tell you we began to sat beside each other during assemblies because we were in the same rollcall? Even if we did talk personally, I mostly ran out of things to say to him. It's embar*ssing but if I don't talk to him I feel incomplete but if I do it's awkward because we'd run out on things to say. We regarded each other as twins cause we used to fight who was better than who, we fought the other way around I thought it was him who was better but he thought viceversa. Once he told me online that he'd like to kiss me. I told him'but normal "brother-sister" people like I named a couple of friends of ours who were "brother-sister"s don't kiss'. He replied to me "Well, were different we're twins" and he tells me he loves me like every single day. And earlier when I was talking to him, he told me he loves me I asked him if he really does and he said yes I do and I asked if he knew he was talking to me and he said he did. But somehow I felt different even if he did say he loves me usually. He must've been baffled cause he said hed alwys says I love you to me but it struck me different today. And he went on telling me that he loves me and he only says that to me, he went on saying that the only reason why he only says I love you to me is because he loves me. I know it sounds ridiculous but it seems so sincere and heartfelt to me. Before he went off he told me now you truly now that I love you. I could've melted then! I'm gonna get to see him next Tuesday. :) What do you think? Does he love me as a sister and as a friend but nothing more? I don't know what I may sound like but I think you might be able to see my position in a different point of view. My friend reckons that he loves me and that we should get on, but I don't wanna ruin the friendship we have right now. Can't wait for school til Tuesday.
Well what do you think which of these three is the one for me? I don't wanna ruin any chances of friendship with them. The Smart and the Sweet one are very close friends and I don't want any conflict at all. I'm seriously confused right now. This decision is the most confusing because I don't know what is right or wrong for me at this stage.
Actually there's a fourth one but I seriously won't consider him, but all the same I'll tell you about the Fourth one. I've known this one for 8 or 9 months we met through chat and I found out that he studies across at my former school. It was cool and I talked to him because he reminded me of where I used to live and I ocassionally got homesick. During that span of time, he went on and off with different girls but everytime he went off, he would come to me and ask me to be his girl and I didn't want to. I felt it was wrong and I really wanted our friendship to work. Recently, he broke up with his girl again and so you know what happened. The cycle repeated again, but this time he said he was serious. But I still didn't want to because I knew he drank alcohol, I've got nothing wrong with alcohol but I think it's just wrong to be a binge drinker at 14 and be proud of it. On top of all that I asked him if his love for me was just a joke, he told me that it would be if the waves didn't reach the sand anymore. I told him no once more but he accepted it and asked if we could be friends again and I said yes. And he surprised me by telling me that he was coming to what country I was in this December. It turns out he's staying with his Aunt who lived a couple of suburbs from where I was. I am so perplexed, I didn't want to see me because how would I tell my parents and I think he might get the wrong message. Hhmmm, oh, crip!
OKay, so what do you think?
I need advice on those two matters - the FOURTH and the decision between the three. Email me on cuddly.marionette@yahoo.com if you're not registered but if you are please leave a comment. Though people may say at 14 I don't know how to think right. I may not but you need to make mistakes to learn in life. In time, I may not make the right decision, but even for just a minute I would know the joy of knowing I did what I wanted rather than regret for not having have made it for the rest of my life. I apologize for my sloppy dictions as it is 2a.m. And I just wanna say Thank You for taking the time to read this. (to be continued if people wants to know what will happen to me)
much love
cuddly.marionette
Written by cuddly.marionette
Submitted by cuddly.marionette |  |
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