 | It was a typical April afternoon, the sun was shining with a cool breeze. My best friend and I were walking to our friends 15th birthday party. "Let's not stay for a long time it's going to be boring!" I whined to my best friend Amanda."Aww come on Chels, it won't be so bad...besides maybe there'll be hot guys there!" I finally agreed to go and the two of us arrived 15 minutes early. We walked through the gate to my friends backyard and then I saw HIM. He was gorgeous, blonde curly hair, big blue eyes, and very slender. "Hey! I'm James who are you?" He asked in a very high voice. "Ummm....Hey I'm Chelsea it's nice to meet you." I felt Amanda smiling at me and I briefly turned and smiled back. For the next three hours I flirted with James, and by the end of the party we had exchanged e-mail adresses.
The rest of that week end seemed to drag on forver, but finally it was school again. James was two grades above me so we obviously weren't in any classes together. But I quickly learnt his schedule, and we began to talk in between cl*sses, and eventually he started eating lunch with us.
The next weekend I was sleeping over at my friends house, The same friend who had had the birthday party. I kept telling her I wanted to ask James out but didn't know how to. Eventually she got sick of hearing me have a self deabte, and ended up calling him when I was in the washroom. "The phone is for you!" "Who is it?" "Your Mom." "Oh OK. Hey!" "Hey!" This DEFINITELY wasn't my Mom. "Oh umm hey James, what's up?" "ASK HIM OUT ALREADY!" My friend shouted. "James I was wondering...Do you want to hang out next weekend?" "Oh sure I'd love too! We should like go shopping or something!" Shopping? This seemed like something I'd do with my girlfriends, or my friend Hector who is gay. "Yeah shopping sounds fun..." I said giving my friend a thumbs up sign. "Oh great, I love shopping!" This was getting weird.
The next thing I knew I was downtown with James, looking in all the hot clothing stores. We got to know each other really well that day, and I don't think I've ever gotten along so well with someone in that short amount of time. The friend who had set James and I up had invited the two of us to a rock concert that night. James wasn't planning on going but told me he was going to ditch his other friends and go with me because I was officially his "new girlfriend." I couldn't remember ever being happier.
The next few weeks were the best of my life. James was in my opinion the coolest boyfriend ever! I mean how many girls had a hot boyfriend, who liked all the things girls did? Whenever the two of us went out we always had the deepest conversations, and I found myself telling him things that I had never told anyone before. I felt on top of the world, as if nothing bad could ever happen to me. But I was so wrong.
One Friday after school James and I went out. He started telling me about how he puts on an act in front of his friends but with me he could just be himself. At this point I had no clue what that meant, and he left me startled and confused.
That night I went to a movie with James and his best friend, and I realized what he meant about putting on an act. The two of them acted like small children, and I couldn't pay attention to the stupid movie because of her and James's constant giggling, and childish ramblings. James and I were supposed to take the bus ome together that night but I ended up walking home by myself instead.
The next day I felt horrible about what had happened and decided to call James. We started talking about something unimportant, and then I asked him if his Dad had ever remarried. He said yes, and then he proceeded to tell me about how he found his step mother in bed with another woman. I thought that was a pretty big secret, so I told him I'd tell him a secret. "Well now I'm going to tell you my biggest secret. I've never told anyone this before or said it out loud so it might take awhile for it to come out." "OK." I said. I was so excited! The boy I loved, who meant the world to me was going to tell me his biggest secret. He must really love me! I thought. I heard James take a deep breath, and I excitedly braced my self for his words.
"I'm gay."
I felt my heart sink...The happiness suddenly all melted away. I couldn't speak. "I'm sorry." He said sympathetically. "Oh. Oh...Ummm it's OK....There's nothing wrong with it." I said holding back tears. "Thanks." He said, hi voice cracking. Then I couldn't stand it anymore, and I started crying right there on the phone with him. He started crying too. "Chelsea I love you I really do, just not the way you love me, but you're so important to me. I don't know what I'd do if I'd never met you." "James, just tell me you're kidding!" I said over, and over. "I can't Chels, I can't"
Today James is one of my best friends. We are practically inseperable, and although he'll never love me the way I love him, I realize he loves me with all he can. He often tells me how I'm still one of the most important people in the world to him and we even joke about his secret now! I still love James with all my heart, but I wouldn't trade romance for what we have now if my life depended on it.
Written by angelbabe
Submitted by angelbabe |  |
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