I didn’t kill myself but ran away and don’t plan on going back there. Some things have gotten better only because I changed them myself but I still don’t have Derik and don’t think I ever will again and it breaks my heart to know that. It burns through my soul and it feels like something is slowly eating away at me. I hope this summer will get better for me and someday soon my mother will finally realize that I don’t plan on coming back in a while and come looking for me even thought she knows exactly where I am.I went back tonight just to get my cat and to write a note saying I really don’t think I could ever come back I wonder now do they even care that I am even gone I used to be daddy's little girl and momma's little angel but not anymore. Sometimes I think that the world turned its back on me but I confess I turned my back on the world, and honestly now the only thing that is wrong in my life is that I don’t have the only thing I really want. Derik the only person I really love and care for Derik, the only person I truly believe I’m meant to be with Derik... And I know my mother loves me and I know I love her that I am a crazy teenager but I don’t care. It’s now too late...