 | I looked every where for him but I could not find
His memories are planted deeply within my mind
The man that I once loved, was so warm, gentle and kind
The echoes of my dying soul, is reaching for the place it usually goes
My smile is hid deeply within for no one really knows
The abuse that my children and I have endured’ for it never shows
For I hide it so well, with long sleeve shirts or a smile to cover the frown so others can not see
For I do not want them to see the type of man my husband has came to be
For he if the truth shall come out, he will hurt me
For the shame he has brought upon my children and I
Breaks my heart, but the time is coming I shall no longer lie
For the day is neighing for us to be set free and there we shall learn to fly
Questions may be asked and people may wonder why, I stayed
But the truth of thy matter I was always so afraid
Afraid of making the wrong choice in my life, so I gave it all to God as I prayed
I know some folks would not begin to understand this
But what was a woman like me suppose to do, with such a mess?
I did all I could do to make it work, for so long I kissed his sweet *ss
I don’t claim to be perfect; for I am afraid I will never meet Gods requirement
I’ve failed God so often that I do deserve my life sentence
I know that it’s not for others to judge’ for its only Gods judgment
But the echoes of my dying soul’ is longing to be heard
Can’t you hear my heart a calling with out a unknown word
The pain within is painful and very absurd
There’s only one guy that I have told completely
About what’s become of me and why it happened to me, as he grew angry
For because of this abuse, it’s hard for me to give of myself to the man whom loves me dearly
For the trust issue is hard to bare’ for I always want him to be near
To protect me from the things that I know out of the blue can appear
But I know that he has a life and I can never hold him down from serving his long distant career
I pray that someday, he will realize just how much I need him around
Then without my voice, he will not hesitate to head homeward bound
To be the man, husband, father and friend that God has called him to be for the family he has found.
Written by Shelia Myers
Submitted by Shelia Myers |  |
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