 | Have I lost you for good a few weeks ago?...
I’d never seen such anger in your face,
well, we both had too much to drink, you know...
and then I would storm right out of your place.
I waited two weeks hoping we’d speak again...
I sat next to a phone that wouldn’t ring,
each day I have knelt and I’ve prayed
you’d forgive any mistakes I’ve made
and that for you I could do the same thing.
In eight years I’d never had a fight with you...
this was our first and obviously the last,
I think now you are making it clear
you don’t want a friendship with a queer
I’m just poison; I should be in your past.
I’m sorry that I fell in love with you...
eight years of “just being” your friend was hard,
because my emotions for you grew
I confessed I was in love with you
but now, only MY heart remains left scarred.
I know it’s my fault for loving a straight man...
I didn’t want it to turn out this way,
but when you invited me on in
you said you wanted to be my friend
I fell in love with you on that very day.
I managed to keep my feelings hidden...
although, only for a very few short years,
because soon you’d start to see
just how much you meant to me
on the night I kissed you and brought you to tears.
You said my emotions for you were so touching...
as you were wiping a tear from your eye,
I told you I loved you once again
but you only want me as a friend
and with that, it became my turn to cry.
I’m sorry that I became so selfish with you...
I would never mean to make you so mad,
our first fight keeps haunting my mind
those words we exchanged were unkind
I regret losing the best friend I’ve had.
And deep in your heart you know it’s not all my fault...
you had an important role in this game,
your rule was “I’m only your best friend”
but we would fool around now and then
if I can’t take it then I am to blame.
Then our first fight was because I got so jealous...
I guess it was a fight to end all wars,
I asked how you could be with me
and then the next night so suddenly
want to be in the company of wheres?
You never will change and neither will I...
my feelings for you runnin’ way too deep,
and that night you had said to me
again, you needed to be free
so now I’ll leave you with your “friends” to keep.
When I pray to God each and every night...
I ask him how I ended up so wrong,
because as a queer all I could do
is to kill every friendship I knew
by falling in love like I did with John.
Written by Mark Leyva
Submitted by Mark Leyva |  |
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