I can relate to this because I have done it before plenty of times before I thought its onlt one time and I will never do it again. but one thing lead to another and it got to the point where I do it every other night people dont really know that I do it because when I'm around them I act like that sh*t is dumb and that I will never try it but my close friends and family really know what I am going through and they are trying their hardest to try and help me but I dont think they can nobody can when I feel something I wont let the feeling go until I have figured out why it has happend to me but eventually I will loose that feeling because it has made me go through depression and I cant get over that!!