 | They say change happens for the best,
but I'm not sure that's true.
If it is, it's only so
once in a blue moon.
Change can make a person's heart
break unspeakably so.
I know this from my experience.
Believe me, I know.
Change is how I lost you.
You're the thing that changed.
And when you did, my happiness
moved completely out of range.
Change made me cry in the middle of the night.
It still makes me today.
I'm not sure if I can handle living
my life in this way.
I can't forget your eyes,
your smile, your voice, your touch.
Can't you see how I feel?
Can't you see I miss you so much?
Don't you know that you
are the only one I've ever really loved?
You're the one I wished for
on the stars above.
I just want things to be the way
that they used to be.
I just want you to notice-
and by that, I mean notice me.
I miss the way you'd smile
and call me "baby girl".
Whenever you did that, you made me
the happiest girl in the world.
You never were my lover.
That much is true, I know.
But each time you flirted with me,
I felt like it was so.
You'll never know, my darling,
how much you meant to me then.
You still mean just as much today
through the thick and through the thin.
You barely ever glance my way.
When you do, it's just a blank stare.
You never hold me in your arms
or run your fingers through my hair.
You act like I'm not even there
when you pass me on the walk.
I long for us to just sit down;
I long for us to talk.
I want to tell you everything-
my secrets, fears, and dreams.
But each time I think of doing so,
I just freeze up, it seems.
After all, you'd never understand.
You'd probably just laugh and walk away.
I know I permanently screwed things up
with what I said that day.
I'm really, really sorry.
I didn't mean to make you mad.
Almost a year has gone by,
and still, I feel so bad.
If I had the chance to do it over;
to turn back the hands of time,
I would do it in a snap-
in the blink of an eye.
I know you'll probably never love me-
not after all the things I did.
I just wish you'd cut me some slack;
that you'd let me back in.
The whole thing rests in your hands.
It's all up to you.
I'll try my best to understand
whatever you decide to do.
I just want you to be happy.
If it can be with me, then great.
If you say, "You're the one I want,"
I will celebrate.
If you say, "She's the only one
who makes me want to smile,"
my heart will break, and tears will fall-
but only for a while.
Then, I'd pick myself up off the ground
and wipe away my tears.
After all, I don't want
to waste away all my years.
I guess you aren't the only one
that has changed since last year,
for I myself are changing, too.
This is what I fear.
Am I really ready to let you go?
What will my life be like if I do?
Could I possibly make it through each day
if I was not in love with you?
Or have I grown too attatched
to that love that's in my heart?
If I gave it up, would my world stay together,
or would it all just fall apart.
I'm too afraid to know the answer.
I'm too afraid to let you go.
Is this a change that's worth allowing?
I'm not even sure I want to know.
Written by Sarah Pegues
Submitted by Sarah Pegues |  |
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