I have wrote before about how I treat my boyfriend like crap because of how my ex-boyfriend who I dated for 4 years treated me. He cheated, beat me, stalked me and always told me he would kill himself if I dumped him. So I expect my current boyfriend to do the same things.I have been dating him for 6 months now. It's almost like the closer I get to him the worse I treat him because I am so scared of getting hurt again. He is really starting to get sick of it. I almost lost him the other night because I freaked out because we were fighting and I expected him to like hit me or something so I left. He also says I have changed. He said I used to be a lot happier before and a lot nicer. I know I have been a b*tch and I try to change it just never seems to work. He knows it's not all my fault when we fight but he has been trying so hard to make things work but he doesn't think I want them to change. He says he doesn't know how much longer he can deal with all this because it's so stressful sometimes.
I guess I am just looking for some ideas how I can try and get over everything from my past. It has been over a year since I broke up with my ex but it is still in the back of my mind. I know I have changed and I don't really like the person I have became but I don't know how to get back to who I used to be.