 | If you take the time to read this, I applaud you. I wrote this on a late sunday evening while I was longing for my puzzle piece. Events may be sporadic, or unorganized, I'm sorry. But it is 12:30am. This dates back to when I first came face-to-face with this woman.Eighth grade is a time full of excitement, passion, crushes, trial of friendships and a time for building a foundation for future acquaintances. (For identity reasons, I will not be using her real name) It was my eighth grade year, and I met a new seventh grade girl. I found myself to be incredibly attracted to her. How I first came in contact with her has phased out of my memory after all of these years. During this point in the story my memory fails me a great deal, for these were not the important moments in our pasts which helped shape our future. Regardless, it was my final year in the middle school before I advanced into high school. Britney and I became friends over my eighth grade year, and we shared a special friendship. Ninth grade came for me; I moved on and started engaging into relationships with young women. Britney and I ceased talking to each other and lost our relationship. My mind was never capable of letting go of her image. I occasionally found myself daydreaming about Britney while on dates with a current girlfriend. I thought there might have been something wrong with my mind. I was dating a girl for several months, but dreamt for another? Dazed and confused, I kept a distant relationship with Britney. Having a conversation with her every other month or so. The conversations we did have with each other would carry on until late hours into the night. Often going in depth with feelings of regret, and often times going into deep conversations about how we feel towards each other. I was angry at myself. I felt I was betraying my current girlfriend with these "dreams" of Britney. Britney had won my heart in 8th grade, as I had won hers. I was always telling myself how I loved Britney, and how I longed to taste her soft lips. Throughout high school I dated many girls, trying to find one that is most compatible for me. Each girl was a failed attempt. I was in the halls one day with one of my current “failed attempts” and Britney passed by. I had told my current “failed attempt” that I was infatuated with Britney. Over the years of high school we managed to set aside a very small amount of time to spend with each other. It was a rare occasion for us to get together. It was always awkward spending time with her. We both wanted the other to “put a move” on the other. Our rare evenings spent together resulted in us sitting on separate couches staring, smiling, and hoping to grasp a brief smell of the other’s sweet aroma. Each of the girls I dated put a cloud in front of my eyes, veiling me from seeing the truth. This truth had been in front of my eyes, just beyond the clouds since eighth grade. It was not until the fall semester of my freshman year in college that my feelings for Britney were truly tested. I was in a year and a half “failed attempt” that started to become rocky. Fights were occurring on a regular basis over little reasons. I noticed Britney on the internet, and decided to engage in a conversation. Instead of getting advice on my current “failed attempt” the conversation lead to our fantasies. I was caught up in this woman once again. She had this way to leave me wanting. Wanting to talk to her on the internet, wanting to smell, wanting to kiss, wanting her. She single handedly persuaded me into ending my relationship with my current “failed attempt”. I was in love with a woman I spent less than 24 hours with. She had parted the clouds from my eyes, and gave me a clear view to her. After freeing myself from the latest “failed attempt”, I was able to spend much needed time with Britney. We never gave in to the temptation of burrowing into the other’s arms and kissing for eternity. Fear of disappointment was the only barrier between Britney and me. We began spending more time with each other, and becoming closer, closer to the ultimate barrier. We began grasping the other’s hand as a reaction. I bravely would put my hand on her back as we walked out a door. We became closer to that first kiss. Fear of disappointment was between us. Each night prior to the first kiss ended in a disappointment. I would take her to her house, and race home in anticipation to the conversation on the internet. On there we talked for hours, trying to pry as much information from the other as possible. As Britney and I spent more time together, the kiss eventually came. It was a barrier breaker. It was not a passionate kiss, but a kiss from me to her, telling her that this was the start of something very few people encounter. My childhood crush turned into an adult love. For six years I had dreamt, fantasized, and longed for the taste of her. I ask you all to unveil your eyes. Part the clouds in front of your eyes. “Pry open your third eye”. The one for you could possibly be standing at your side. We are two puzzle pieces formed specifically to fit into eachother. She is the missing piece to my puzzle. The 2nd puzzle peice.
For her feelings on me, reverse the story as if she wrote it.
-jcMiller
Written by jcMiller
Submitted by jcMiller |  |
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