 | Kill me. Just let me die. Take me, God. NOW! As you can clearly see, crazy crazy thoughts rampaged through my mind. Here it goes again: that feeling when you're depressed and sad, and nothing can cheer you up, and all you want to do is cry. This feeling of your heart slowly sinking and taking everything you got, everything you HAD down with you. You know you're a strong and intelligient woman, you know you'll keep your chin up and find a way to get through this... Somehow. This isn't the end of the world, I'm not going to be depressed and be sad all day and night. Don't believe me? I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU. That's who I am. But, I'll never deny that feeling: that feeling of your heart just hurting and sinking down so bad... and it all came rushing back to me at once that night when I was reunited with Eddie.
The rest of that awful night is difficult for me to remember. I can recall feeling happy, AT FIRST. I mean, finally, after all my suffering and crying, I managed to find the strength to rest in peace, and move on. BUT then Eddie(my lost love) pops up out of nowhere and RIGHT when I conclude things turned rightside up for me and, miraculously, got better, he ANNOUNCES HE HAS A FIANCE!
I remember once I heard those words coming out of his mouth, as if in slow-motion, I shook my head instantly in denial. 'No, you're not married. You *didn't just say you're marrying someone either than me!' I froze, and it felt as if a million years had gone by. My face captured the horror of this proclamation, with my hand covering over my mouth. Eddie walked toward me slowly with his hands up...maybe in defense?, and trying to *comfort me? I put my hands up, still shaking my head, motioning for him to stop.
"Don't come any closer, Eddie." I couldn't even look straight in his eyes, so I focused on his "Prince Charming" costume instead.
"Therese, I-"
"No, don't. Don't do this to me," I said, as I quickly walked around Eddie and began moving towards the door. 'I'm getting out of here. I can't be here anymore. I have to get away.' I thought to myself.
I could hear Eddie from behind, yelling at me to stop, and all he wanted to do was to talk to me. 'TALK TO ME! That's the last thing I want from him! I don't even want to LOOK at him, WHY would I want to TALK to him!?' The woman, Eddie's fiance, was blocking the doorway, she moved immediately out of the way. To be polite in an ironic and sick sort of way, I stuck out my hand and shook the woman's, curtsied and said:
"It was a pleasure meeting you." I smiled a fake smile and in a matter of seconds, I rushed for the exit. All I wanted to do was go home.
So there I was, still in my gown and all, outside of the 'castle' thinking, "Okay, I got out. Now what? Where's my pumkin carriage, ready to take me home, when I need one!?" Lord, what is happening to me... to us?! I leaned against the 'castle' wall and cried. How much longer will I have to take this?
In the corner of my eye, I saw Eddie standing in the doorway looking at me. He looked so handsome. After two years, he never lost that charm in him that made me feel so..... compelled and attracted. I turned my back from him, I didn't want him to see me crying. He walked up and faced me... only for me to turn my head away stubbornly. Just like many times before, Eddie picked my chin up with his hand, forcing me to look him in the eyes, I just turned my eyes the other way.
"Therese, you need to look at me!" Eddie said. I pulled away from his grasp angrily.
"Eddie!... God Eddie!... I don't know what to say to you! Is that why you never wrote to me: Because you had another giirrl on the side... and you just got tired of-"
Eddie interrupeted me:
"No! No, Therese, it's not even like that! My mother, she... she introduced me to Emily the moment you left. Apparently, she's been WAITING for you to leave so she could pair me up with Emily. Emily's father is the owner of a really important business and... well, I was FURIOUS with her behavior and *quickly dismissed her, AND Emily! But Emily wasn't interested in me either, she was already IN LOVE with someone else but *he left, so we had something in common, and... and then you appear back into my life, and, but I'm engaged now. Do you think things are actually easy for me? Do you think I want it to be like this? I love you, Therese. I always have, and always will. I just wanted you to understand that I still... you taught me how to love... you showed me what real love is..."
I said, fighting back the tears, "You know what Eddie? Even IF I had a dictating mother, even IF I was lonely and desperate and sad... If I were you, I WOULD HAVE WAITED. I would have waited everynight and day, searching in hopes that I'd find you somehow. Don't say you love me, you don't even know me." I walked away (Eddie not following) to the nearest payphone to call my dad to pick me up.
My room. It was where I found peace. Bookshelves from the ceiling to the floor, were all covered in history books. It was like a library in my room, and libraries are where I feel the safest. My bed looked tempting. I couldn't wait until I could jump into those big comfy covers and bury myself into my dreams, the one place where noone could find me. All the windows were open, I liked it that way. Even if it was 20 degress out, I still liked the window open. The fresh cool breeze blowing through my hair and body was like medicine to the soul. It cleansed me. It revived me. I did whatever I could to try to forget about what happened to me that night. I've come to realize how much of a soap opera my life is these days! I didn't want to think about Eddie... or his fiance, so I didn't... But like so many nights before, my pillow was drenched, and I drowned myself in tears. Let me cry, I'm not going to hold it in anymore, just let me cry. Soon, I cried myself to sleep, and away I went deep in my dreams, imagining a world where things were perfect.
It was around 3 in the morning when I heard a tap on my window. Grudgingly, I ignored it... but again went that, "Tap!" Lazily I got myself up to look out the window, it was Eddie. How come I'm not surprised? How come I knew he'd find a way to come to my house, wake me up in the middle of the night, and *surprise me like he used to, all over again?
"Go away," I said, rolling my eyes, as I prepared to close the window and go back to sleep. But Eddie's hand stopped the window from closing all the way.
"Let's talk Therese." Eddie said as he climbed in through the window and into my room.
"Eddie, you're crazy. I can't believe you found my address! You're lucky you didn't wake my parents up!" I said.
"Your father was the one who gave me the address."
"What?! Oh God... Well, you need to leave, or else... I'm calling the police!" I said defensively, still pondering on *how my father even *knew of Eddie. Hmm, my dad must have spoken to Emma and the family.
"Therese, no! Please, stop this already," Eddie said taking me in his arms, holding me tightly. I pulled away.
"Eddie, you probably think I'm mad at you, BUT I'M NOT. I'm happy for you! I'm glad you're getting married! I hope only the best for you! Okay? Now..." as I pointed towards the window, I said firmly, "GET OUT!" as tears strolled slowly down my face.
Eddie turned his back on me looking hopeless, with his hand on his head as if it was aching. I know I was acting crude to him... I felt bad about that. Eddie began on his way to climb out of my window. I just watched, with my arms crossed, not bothering to wipe away my tears.
Just then, Eddie turns back around, walks up to me and kisses me! He held me so tight with his hands on my back and on my waist, that I could feel his heart beating, coinciding with mine. His kiss was filled with compassion and such longing, it was difficult for me to refuse. At first, I tried my best to repel away. "No, Eddie let's not..." I said, barely in a whisper. But it wasn't long before I could feel myself grow weak, and eventually, I shared that same passion and desire Eddie had for me. I surrendered myself into his arms, and his touch, and his kiss. His kiss was like my dreams: I escaped in them, I buried myself in them. We made love that night, not letting our minds get polluted by thoughts of the future, or his fiance, as long as we were together, we found happiness.
I woke up the next morning with Eddie's arms wrapped around me. He lifted my chin up to kiss me gently on the cheek and then on the lips, greeting me good morning. After that, we talked. Eddie explained to me that everytime he wrote to me, his parents would find a way to disconnect it. 'Wow, I guess Eddie's parents didn't like me very much.' I told him that. He replied by saying, "What's not to like?" he smiled and kissed me again. Eddie told me that he was going to leave his fiance for me. He said he was never in love with her, but coping with the depression he was experiencing due to my abrupt departure, he found Emily taking that depression and lonliness away. But in the end, he said he still felt alone. "It's you Therese, it's always been you." I told him I didn't want him to leave his fiance, it felt wrong. Deep inside my heart bled.
"But I don't want her. I want you, Therese," Eddie said.
"Well, you should have thought of that BEFORE you got engaged," I said dryly. And then there we go again: got into ANOTHER fight! Within seconds, Eddie was climbing down my window and the hell away from me. I wasn't going to let myself cry. Been there, done that. I should learn from all of this: Happily Ever After endings happen only in fairytales.
The End
Just kidding.
So Eddie decided to stay with his fiance, but only because I pleaded for him to. Weeks passed by and oneday, I found myself opening the door to Eddie's fiance, Emily. She came in exploding with her thoughts and feelings, stating that she's not happy. She said Eddie barely spoke to her. She could see it in his eyes that he didn't love her. She also sensed it in his touch, and everything he stood for. It was all beginning to be too much for her to handle! Emily said she's realizing that ME and Eddie were meant to be! She even lied about having a boyfriend who had to leave back to the states, just so Eddie would think they had something in common. She was plotting :with Eddie's mother!: on how to "get" Eddie. I was speechless. What was I supposed to say?
"And so," Emily continued, "that is why... I ended things with Eddie."
I gasped in disbelief.
"He's all yours. He belongs to you anyway." Emily wiped away her tears and hugged me. Still, I was speechless.
I decided to share my story because I wanted to prove to everyone that even though we live in a world where it seems as if only violence, sex, drugs, and lies, exist as our enviroment, it is STILL possible to hope, to wish, and to want for something MORE and BETTER from life.
Who knows? Maybe someday those everlasting dreams of yours, that enchanting and mystikal world you created to escaped, WILL COME TRUE when YOU meet YOUR PRINCE CHARMING! You don't need to be a princess, or own a castle, or be the richest person in the world! Don't ever stop dreaming!
It was the hope inside of me that kept me striving for the best. It was the wish from my heart that kept me strong. And BECAUSE I WANTED to be happy, I didn't let myself give in, or give up... to society OR anyone, for that matter.
SO, to conclude my story... Eddie kept his promise he gave to me on that fateful day when he screamed, "I'M GOIN TO MARRY YOU THERESE!!!" Because... On the 11th day of June (the day when we shared our first kiss under the stars and moon), WE GOT MARRIED! And as scary and weird as it may be, EMILY was even one of my bridesmaids!
AND JUST LIKE how it seems to end only in fairy tales and movies and whatnot, I (....I mean, EDDIE and I....) *FI*NAL*LY!... managed to live, laugh, and love,
Happily Ever After.
Thank you for reading all three parts of my story guys! You rock!
THE END
Submitted by Therese |  |
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