 | He has a girlfriend now and ever since I found out things between us have changed drastically. My name is Karen and here's the story of how I've fallen for mybest friend. It's Spring break of my junior year. We've already gotten to know each other and we've gotten into the habit of talking to each other on a daily basis. My cell phone bill had gone sky high because of my text messages to him as well as my minutes. To think all this time I had free minutes! Well anyways I know that he has a girlfriend but we are just friends. I bring her up sometimes just to see what he'd say and how much he'd say about her. It didn't bother me at all because I had never met her and she goes to a different school. But I do like him though. Summer rolls around and we haven't hung out. We never get to and when we do have opportunities to we always miss the chance because of some miscommunications that are always both of our faults.
It's now senior year and things are still at that "just friends" stage. He's still with his girlfriend. I try moving on because I've already told myself that this was it and that's how it'll be. We still talked on a daily basis and stay up the entire night just talking. He still makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. Homecoming was just around the corner and still things are the same with the two of us. He still doesn't it. I have feelings for him but he doesn't see it.
The night of homecoming I had brought my friend who because of her we were friends. He was late coming in and my friend and I were already hitting the dance floor. I was part of the student council committee and I had already done my part. My friend and I pushed our way to the front of the crowd because they were about to crown homecoming kind and queen. After the announcement I looked back and saw him at the side. I pulled my friend over with me to introduce them since they had never met before. His girlfriend was greeting her friend who went to our school and just won the crown of homecoming queen. I didn't get to meet her until the end of the dance. He and I didn't dance at all because I made myself busy with other things just to avoid seeing him and her dance together. My friend thought he was pretty shady for doing such a thing and ignoring us because he was with his girl. Yes, it hurt but I didn't do anything of it. It wasn't my night anyway. The end of the dance my friend and I waited outside for our ride and sure of it there they were. It was my friend's idea to go over and meet them or rather make me meet her. At first I was very hesitant but then it didn't matter. It was an awkward feeling but I did it. I met the girlfriend. She was just lovely.
Months passed and things were forgotten. We still talked on the phone and hung out at school. And he still had his girlfriend. I needed to break it off with him. I needed us to be complete strangers again just so I wouldn't feel hurt because it was all too much to bear. I avoided him for two weeks. I didn't call or respond to the texts. For two weeks in the spring I started to feel okay. One night while I was at a friend's house, I called my cousin (she lives with me) to see if my mom had called to check up on things with me. My cousin told me no but he had talked to her. He was wondering what was going on. Why was I not talking to him or why have I gotten angry with him for little things such as the joke he pulled that day. He wanted to know where I was and how was I. My heart started to beat again. I text him telling him to not worry about me and that things were okay. I knew from that day I knew he cared about me.
Another spring break rolled around. We still talked on the phone late even though I wasn't suppose to. He was still with his girlfriend. He rarely talked about her when I asked him of how she was. I decided to stop asking that. I didn't care about her anymore, but that didn't mean I wanted to take him from her. I'm just not that type. Well anyways prom comes up and I had a chance. His girlfriend decided that she didn't want to go to prom with him. I decided to go with someone else because I was tired of waiting for him to ask me. That night ended with me and him dancing together and enjoying each others company. We danced to everything. At the end of the night he told me I looked beautiful even though all my make up was practically gone! I had a chance to tell him that night but I didn't.
Few months later we graduated. At that point he made it official that we were the best of friends. I was happy you can say. Summer rolls around and we didn't talk. We stopped talking. So many times I was invited to go to gatherings with my fellow graduates but I didn't go. I had my other friends to be with. I made a promise to myself that summer to start to move on. I did move on for that summer. My cell never rang nor did I pick it up to text or call him. My family moved but we were still in the same state. I had told my friend to come and visit me since the place I moved to was very much close to where she always hung out. Well where she and my other friends always hung out. That day she called me and told me she brought him with her. They pulled up my drive way. It was her, her brother and him. I greeted them with open arms. My heart was beating once more and there he was. We hung out but didn't really catch up because of the movies they had rented.
Him and I were once again talking after that visit. He was no longer with his girlfriend. It was finally my moment. We spent some nights when he'd visit outside on the swing set. I didn't tell him how I felt until college started. His visits were more often. And it was during the last weeks of September when I told him how much I loved him. It was drastic but he felt the same way. My only mistake was that I didn't want a relationship. I never had one and I was scared. Instead I told him we'd just be friends with benefits and a mutual understanding...but nothing too serious. It lasted for a good few months of my first semester.
He got into an accident during October. I didn't get to see him for awhile because he didn't want to drive yet. I understood and said it was okay. Our calls stopped once again. I lost contact of him. During the holidays he never called me but then again I didn't try calling him either. I'm stubborn like that. I didn't want to run after him anymore and I felt if he really cared he'd call. News came in from my friend; he has a girlfriend, Karen. My heart stopped. And for the first time I had cried hard. The way I cope with things was to show of course that I was okay. I wasn't suppose to find out at all. I started to focus on school more than usual. I wanted to have a fresh start again. I got my permit and told everyone. Even him. I got his number from myfriend and I told him. I swore that that was all. He came back again. I got addicted yet again to talking to him. He visited but it was an awkward feeling. I was happy once more.
Valentine's Day came. He came. He had asked my 10 year old sister to be his valentine just to be cute. He came on valentine's to give my sister gifts. She loved it because they were gifts for her. He handed me a bear full of hearts. I wasn't expecting it. He needed to go home that night. I had another chance to tell him how I felt. We hugged each other for the longest. I walked back to my house and waved goodbye to him from my door. I closed it and cried.
I really love him. He tells me sometimes that he loves me too, but I call him a liar. He tells me that he isn't lying and that I don't have to believe him because he knows that I know that in my heart I really do love him. And that's all...just as long as I know he loves me that's all that matters to him. He's happy with his girlfriend now. I don't know who she is nor do I want to get know her. My heart still belongs to him. He'll forever hold it. Our relationship changed. But my feelings still haven't. I've fallen for him.
Submitted by Karen |  |
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