umm i dont want to tell so f*ck you

The same exact thing is happening to me right now too! I can't forget him, when he is right in front of me teeling me he doesn't love me, but I still love him. its so sad.

MEGAN look u dont have to bee mean im sure it has hapopened to u. Yes i feel the same i did feel that aboutmy first lovebut i have seemed to get ova it so yeah it worked out well in the end

i was 18 when i ended my relationship. i think i was scared. she gave me another chance a bit later and i didn't take it. she got pregnant and now she's married. when i see her i still feel the same connection and i really think she does too. i'm 24 now and i still think of her as my one. i guess you just have to make the choice of feeling better, however you think that should be done.

i know what u mean... me and my first love broke up almost 5 years ago... and we havent talked for the last 2 years... ive been in a relationship for the past 2 years and hes a great guy... but i cant help but think of him (my x)everyday... hes always there in the back of my mind.. theres always something that reminds me of him... u never forget..but u learn to move on and deal

im young and I had a girl friend im not like 18 like u guys are.. but I know what love is I had a girl friend and me and her had plans on being together forever and stuff...but then she dumped me for her so called first love...and then she ended up dumping him and coming back to me....and then she said that she would never go back to him and she did and she said that she loved him all along...this first love thing just makes me mad...like your first love ur not gunna be with them forever its more about learning I remember my first love......ur first love does dye its like a candle inside u and it will eventully burn out. its a learning experance u know that u wont be with the person that u first loved its common sence its all about learning how to love..and I think my ex girl friend is using that as an excuse...but may I sugest andrea that u get over ur first love cuz u wont be with him forever...and ur wasting ur life staying connected to him trust me on this

I know exactly what you're talking about. I went out with a guy for awhile and loved him more than anything. We ended and many months after I spent crying over him and wishing for him to return. It's a very very difficult thing....but I always told myself that if it were really meant to be then he would come back to me. He never did, and I doubt he ever will. Your first love never really dies...and my theory is... you never GET OVER their loss....you just get used to not having them around anymore.
Good luck with everything, you have my best wishes ~

xoxo_ashley

I know exactly what you mean...
I got set up with this guy and I didnt think it would last just like all my other relationships but it was my longest relationship ever... but one day I f*cked up and dumped him I still loved him and wasnt too sure why I had dumped him and I knew he still loved me and he gave me another chance but I wouldnt take it and I really regret not taking that second chance... he was my best friend, we spent every spare hour with eachother, we told eachother everything... and it took me a yr to really get over him but im still not over him... I compare every guy I come across to him and no1 come close to how much I loved him...

yea I agree, your first love never dies. my first boyfriend and I broke up a year ago and I still think about him now. I believe it's because i'll always have a place in my heart for my first love. so much reminds me of him but I try to ignore it because I know theres no point. you know? the worst thing about it is that he cheated on me and treated me like sh*t but don't ask why I still have feelings for him. it's just the first love thing. its always going to be hard for people to get over theyre first love and I know that i'll always compare future realtionships with my first. good luck to everyone getting over your first loves though. one day, ill s/he'll be out of your head and you'll think, 'what was I doing holding on to him/her'.

I came to this post wondering if I will ever get over my first love. I'm 17 and we were together for 3 years, now he's moving a province away from me... I know it's love and I can't even PICTURE myself with anyone else.. I probably won't see him and we'll both be with other people but if I still love him I want to be with HIM... I can't stop crying. He is leaving in a few days.. I don't see a point to even living if I can't be around him and if he has a new life with other people. Everyone in this post is saying that you always love your first love but you just get used to them not being around. That's not fair. I'd rather die.. I don't know what to do. I hate this.

Hi, I'm new this, but anyway my first love broke upwith me about 9 months ago, we used to talk nearly every day after the break up, whether it was texting or just talking on the phone, I was away on work experience at he time which was the reason we broke up so I had it in my mind that we'd get together when I got back, on my first night back I was out and I saw her standing in front of me chatting to this guy, then they started kissing right in front of me! I felt sick I had never experienced such a gut wrenching feeling. Now 5 months later she's still with him and I'm still hurting, will it ever stop!!!

i'm married and have kids for over 11 years now. Looking back, I was certain that we loved each other though sometimes, I was quite uncertain by the way he treats me. Now, gone are the softspoken guy that I used to know (when we were courting)and it seems he just take things for granted which makes me feel evenmore unwanted. Now i've met this guy which really opens my eyes on how it really feels to love or to be loved. I know it sounds silly and you might think, oh! the same old story repeats itself!! Not to me though. Now when we are together, every single thing is meaningful to me as he really cares. He knows how to treat a woman in the right way. He is everything that I really wish a hubby would be, loving, gentle, caring and most of all, a listener in every situation. I know it's really impossible for us to be together, I cannot help but fantasise to be living happily with him, as that's the only way to fill my empty, meaningless life. The only thing that keeps me going is to know that at least he does care for me, and I cannot help but fall in love in a real way for the first time. This chemistry only we both know and feel and I'm so happy juz to know that he keeps a part me in his heart as I do....

Hi, I'm 15 and I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now...I know that we're in love and even though I'm young I have these strong feelings towards him, I also know that our relationship can't go on forever considering I am so young and all I can think about is what's going to happen to me when it ends. I've never felt this way about someone before and it's almost scary how much he means to me. I'm sure first loves never do die but I guess people can't let that ruin their lives, if it's meant to be it will be.

This first love never die enigma has plagued me for the last three years. I am married to a guy I've been with for ten years and been married for four years now. It's just two years before I met him, I fell inlove with this guy, unluckily, he never showed me interest. Now we're both married each has their own respective family life but yet, I dream about this guy almost every other month for the last 3 years and I'm definitely at a loss why, sometimes I wanted to curse him for never giving "us" a chance, then maybe the wondering and dreaming would stop. I'm thinking that the cause of my yearning is only because I never had him thus, it makes me wonder what it would feel like to be his girl. I hate to admit it because I love my husband but I still hold a torch for this guy. It's just unfair because it's hard to have this unrequitted affection that went on for years. Is it ethical to let him know? We now live in different countries and I don't know how he would react if he got an email about this. Can I leave it anonymously signed. It's like a love that never was, just so sad...

This is the second time I write, but I need to let this out as I cannot keep it inside me or I'm goin mad. I know for sure that I love this guy too much that it hurts. It hurts juz to see him but not talking to each other as sometimes we're quite preoccupied with so much work. Sometimes, he shows his feeling in some ways as instinctly I can feel it. To be together is really the impossible as we re both committed to our family but the chemistry is there! I hate to live a double life, but that's the way it is. He is wht I really need in a partner. Gentle, loving, caring, a good listerner. He understands me better than my spouse. I can talk to him freely. This is not what I experienced with my spouse. I dont know what to do. I juz don't know where this will lead to....Please help me to get this settled. I don't want to hurt my spouse at the same time no matter how hurt I can be by the way he treat me sometimes.

I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH MY FIRST LOVE AFTER 30 YEARS!! I THINK ABOUT HIM WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND HE'S THE LAST THING ON MY MIND BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. I AM NOW 46....AND WE WERE TOGETHER WHEN I WAS 16 UNTIL 19 THEN WE SAW EACH OTHER EVERY NOW AND THEN. WE ARE BOTH MARRIED WITH KIDS, AND LIVING IN DIFFERENT STATES. I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO HIM HOWEVER, I DON'T WANT TO BE TURNED DOWN AGAIN. I FEEL THAT HE IS MY SOUL MATE AND ALWAYS WILL BE! I DON'T THINK ANY ONE EVER GETS OVER THIER FIRST LOVE!!!

you are so right!... and i was wondering if it's ONLY me... at least, it's a comfort to know that i am not all alone having this crazy feeling.. i really feel bad knowing that i am still having this thing over my FL, and my current partner clueless... thanks Mary for sharing.. what am i ever gonna do? i wanna be with him, but i feel guilty leaving my partner and our kids...

My first love happened when I was 6 yrs old - my neighbor. I had a big crush on him and I knew then that he was my first love. My feeling for him was getting stronger each time- until I finished primary, high school & up to 1st yr college. I waited & waited until he noticed me but unsuccessful. At the end, I guess I got tired of waiting and moved on w/ my life. I had a few bfs and now been married for 27 yrs but w/ another man. After 37 yrs, my first love found me & this is the time I discovered that he also had a big crush on me but didn't had the chance to tell me & show me. I still love him so much. I can't see him bcuz he lives in other side of the world but we are constantly communicating via internet. We never had the chance to express our true feelings for each other. I am like you - he's the last thing on my mind before going to bed and thinking about him when I wake up in the morning. I am still married and he's divorced. I guess we are now catching up over this "long lost love" which we could have had when we were young. You're right, no one ever gets over their first love. I don't.....

im dealing with the same thing..i fell inlove with a girl that totally changed my outview on being in love, but this was a year ago..we had it all. we were bestfriends, first true loves..it seemed all to perfect till it all went down the drain. and I tried to move on and forget about her and after time I thought I did until she called me out of the blue just last night and wanted to see me and when I picked her up...it was just like pickin up were we left and that old flame was lite again and in that moment I realized that your first true love really has earnd a place in your heart that cant be replaced.

its horrible... me and my ex broke up almost a year and a hal ago, we werent even going out for that long but he was definetly my first love. he got a new g/f and then broke up with her after a year. then he comes running back to me telling me he never should have broken up with me, and then a month later ends up getting back with that girl. he hurt me so much... yet im still so in love with him. I think about him everday, I dont know what to do =/

I really believe that first love never dies. My first love in high school pursue his studies in the City. We never broke up but got disconnected due to other circ*mstances. I left my country with a heavy heart because I was not able to see him or talk to him. I always said to myself that I will never love again the way I love him. It's been 17 years now since I last saw him. He is now a married man and I am a married woman. But out of blue, he called me and I could not believe it was him on the other line. Memories came back and I know deep in my heart he will always be special to me. He also expressed the same feelings towards me.

This is a tough one. I dated my first love from age 16-24yrs. We were crazy in love with each other and had a closeness I have never found with anyone else. Unfortunately it didn't work out. I am now 40 yrs old, been married 9 yrs and have 3 children. Though my husband is a great guy I don't have half the love, p*ssion or desire I had with my first love. After 10 years of NO contact with each other I decided to look him up this summer because I couldn't stand not knowing what he was doing in his life or if he was ok. We have been talking for 3 months now and he is married with a child on the way and lives in another state. We both say we love each other and the feelings have never gone away. We want to be with each other again but things are so complicated now. I don't know if it's worth leaving what we have and trying again but I honestly don't know if I can live with out him. I cry every day and am really confused. Any advice?

It's just happen to me too. My boyfriend was younger than me for 3 years. We were matched by our colleagues at work, teased by them daily and we didn't know that one day we fell in love with each other when he confessed to me and I to him. We actually work in another country. So much hardship, he's not allowed to visit me in my quarter after 11pm, we still managed to be together, everybody's against our relationship (his fellowcountrymen) because I do not belong to his kind, meaning we don't have the same nationality. His culture, tradition, clan can not accept me as they say. Despite all those hindrance, the tears and fears, our relationship grew stronger. I decided to go back to my homecountry to pursue my career for us so we can be together and no one can object especially his parents because we can obviously support ourselves and our future family. Two years we were separated miles distance away from each other to fulfill my dream career, I worked hard but our relationship still continued. Last year, I came back to the country where we met and saw each other 3 times, the intensity of our love was still the same till one day he was forced by his parents to go for vacation in his country and he had a bad feeling something was going peculiar that will make my heart break probably, so he said I'd better be bold and pursue my dreams. I told him, whatever happens, don't get married with another except me. And to tell his parents he loved someone already. Then he went to his country, by and by waited for weeks for email or calls but none. I dreamed for 3 consecutive nights that he got married. I just prayed to God that nothing will happen like that because I couldn't accept it. I focus myself to him already for marriage someday. There was also an urgency for me to go back home to attend for something very important to my homeland so I went back home. While I was in my country, everyday, I called his mobile phone hoping he's back to that country we worked. Tearfully, desperately, he answered his phone and said" I got married, it happens, forgive me" I cried and screamed because of disappointment and anger but I never hated him. I just asked him, why he didn't fight for me and for our love." I cried for months, and so in despair and was about to close my door for love. But now I've accepted the reality only after 1 year he left me. We spoke lately on the phone, called him long distance. The pain is still there, and eventhough I have a lover now, I feel I love him still but there's a boundary already, obvious limitations and this love I feel should end. He was my first love and I really believe that first love never dies for some people and that's me. Those memento, the joy, laughter, the hardship we both experienced to keep our love strong will be reckoned as treasured memories forever. From that day I accepted everything, when we talked on the phone last June, we told each other, our love will now stay dormant, the love we feel for each other will always stay in one corner of our heart, but will not live again.

I agree with this at the moment. My first boyfriend I can't seem to forget, I don't know if I loved him. Usually, when I love someone it's not very noticable for me. But now, when I'm around him, I feel a slight regret that we broke up. But I have someone else knows, a very good friend of his.

I agree.I met my first love when was 13. I was attracted to him at once but he courted me after two years knowing I had a great crush on him. We never had a chance to be together eventhough I know he also fell for me and I know I am still deeply in love with him until I reached 18. But things did not work out well. Now I am happily married with somebody else but I know in my heart until this very day after almost 30 years, he remained to be a very special person to me. I am no longer in love with him but I still care for him and I know I will never ever forget him.

I firmly agree. I experienced First Love after graduating in my 6th grade. Really very young, I know it was pure and innocent love and it came really from my heart. I don't even know who he was then. Months passed and I came to know him. He has a girlfriend then and it broke my heart. We were introduced one time and I know he already knew of my great crush on him but it seems I don't exist. After two years I received the very first love letter which I have been waiting from him. I was very happy then but at the back of my mind, I know he only courted me because he knew I had a crush on him. His courtship was on and off for almost 3 years. And so sorry that I did not give him a chance because I'm not sure of his intentions and Im not ready yet to have a boyfriend. But my God I loved him so much then. I had so many suitors but he was above of them all. When I reached college, things changed. And I don't know why my feelings changed. Someone courted me and I fell for him so easilly. He was my one and only boyfriend and now he is my husband. Though my marriage is not perfect, I can say I am very happy with my husband. I love him so much. I had to give up so many things just to make sure both of us will end up together. Maybe we are really meant for each other. I also told him the great love I experienced in my first love. After 3 decades, my first love still exist in my life. I did'nt realize I was also very special to him up to now. He still get in touch once in a while and my husband knows about it. I am also glad we remained friends. I don't know but up to now I know I still care for him. It's no longer love but he already has special place in my heart that no one can't replace not even my husband. Even now that I am a happily married woman, he will forever be someone very special to me. And thats the magic of first love. It never dies.

After 33 years, I am still wondering why I still can't get over my first love. Eventhough I am happily married to my one and only boyfriend. I also can say, he was may first crush and "my love at first sight". It was me who first fell for him despite the fact that he was a complete stranger and he also don't know me. We were introduced after sometime and found out that he has a girlfriend. I also learned that he already knew of my great crush on him. I was young then that I cry every night questioning why I fell for this guy whom who is not even interested to make me his friend. But not after 10 months because he started courting me. But because I know he knew of my feelings towards him, I did not give him the chance and kept to myself my real feelings. For years his memories kept on haunting my mind despite the fact that my marriage for me is complete. My husband and I get along so very well and I am very secured that we both love each other. And I am also wondering why for years he still is keeping in touch once in a while. My husband knows about it. He even told me that he wont ever forget me even though I did not gave him a chance to prove his love and that he loved me so much before. I was surprised to hear that. And I had this feeling of regret why I did not share what I felt for him before. I know he has the right to know. Last year we had a chance to talk. I told him the purest and sincerest love I felt for him during my teens. That he was a great part of my teenage years and he will forever remain to be somebody very special to me no matter what. And that he is one of my great love because I only loved to men in my life, he and my husband whom I am married for 25 years. He also told me that his feelings for me can't be compared to any other girlfriends he had. He has his own family too and I know its stable. It's nice that we shared our true feeling after 33 years which we were not given a chance during our teens. In my heart there is this space that only he can fill and his memories will forever be treasured. But I also know that it ends there. We have different lives now and all we have are just memories of yesteryears.

I believe so. I fell in love with him so deeply during my teens. He courted me but things went wrong and he did not became my boyfriend. He have his own family now and so do I. But after all these years he still keep in touch. Yes, in my heart he remained very special to me. Just recently, we had a chance to lay our cards and talk of the past. I told him that though I did not gave him a chance he was a very important person in my life before and that he was my very first love. He told me he regret the fact that we did not became a couple. He also told me that he won't ever forget me for the rest of his life. Well the feeling is mutual. We both had the love that we can no longer share now. But I know the memories will remain and the love will always be in our hearts. Yes it will just be in our hearts.

Just additional views. My first love caused me so much pain during my highschool days. But I don't know why I still treasure those memories despite the fact he hurted me so much. That is my basis why I do agree that your first love will forever remain in your heart no matter what. It may no longer be a deeper kind of love but a love that is pure and simple and that will stay within you.

I feel the same way but I still have lots of questions until now. I am still confused why my first love still affects my life even though I am contended and happy with my family and married life. No doubt, I love my husband so much but this first love of mine remained special to me. And to think, my husband has more good qualities compared to my first love. There is nothing to look back because though he courted me for so long, he did not became my boyfriend but I know both of us knew we have the same feelings for each other. Our love story for me is something quite I can't explaine. He was my longest suitor. During his courtship, I got so deeply in love with him. I am still 16 then and not yet ready to enter into a relationship. Because maybe he can't get any positive response from me, there was an incident that broke my heart. In the height of his courtship, he was in college then, a news came to me that he eloped. I cried so hard then because I really love him and regret why I did not have the courage to tell him that I love him too. Luckily, the parent's girl disapproved of him and they did not get married. After that incident, I know in my heart that I still love him but I know things will be different now. And yes, he courted me again and this time he was more persistent and proved that he was sorry and regret the immature thing that he has done. Maybe, we were not really meant to be. When I reached college, he still courted me but there was a guy whom I met and is now my husband. For years, I have wanted to tell my first love who he was in my life then because of the fact that he continued to check on what is happening in my life through our common friends despite the fact that he too has his own family now. One time I received a surprise call from him after 25 years. And after 25 years I did have the courage to tell him my real feelings for him. I also reminded him that I am contented with my married life and may he not misinterpret my actions. My only reason was for him to know who he was in my life before. Both of us were happy to have talked at that point in time. But I did not tell him how special he is still in my life now. He might not understand it. Maybe that is really the mystery of love specially first love. With the happy life I have now, there are still questions why he still is somebody always remembered.

i don't know if you think this is stupid, or that im just a little girl that doesn't know, but i am 15 and at 13 i lost my V. from that day he is all ii can think about. i thought after 2 and a half years i would be over it, but its getting harder each day. To add to it, i and evryone else knows what a complete tw*t he is. He cheats, lies, does drugs etc. not saying im perfect, but he's the sort of lad who will hurt you. like he already has to me. i know i shud stay well away, but any chance of being near him, i jump to it. i dont know what to do, cos i feel like im never gonna get over him. all i care about is him, to tell the truth, id hand on heart do anything to be with him. can anyone help? its like my heart breaks more each day, i cry over someone i know isnt worth it, but in my eyes he's everything i ever need. p.s he also has a girlfriend, which i cant bare to think about. shes my friend, but its like i hate her with a passion, cos shes got evrything i ever want in my life. im 15 .. should i be thinking like this? i dont know what to do.

im 16 and i've had other girlfriends but this last girl was my first true love. we had everything, she was so perfect to me that i was scared to think what i would do without her. i would have not been with anyone else in the world other than her. now its been a month since she left me and it feels like forever, and i still cant get over her. i compare all other women to her and being she was so perfect, i dont know that i could ever find someone of such high standards again. i know i will never forget her as long as i live and hope that one day i will find another who made me feel the way she did...