 | Submitted by Christina
E-mail: lilrowdyrowski27@aol.com
Well it started out kind of lame on how i met this guy named Lee. I was in 6th grade (my first year in middle school) and it was so much fun to go to school everyday and have 8th grade guys just say a "hey" to you in the hallways. One even had a crush on me and he was pretty popular but VERY perverted and i wasn't that type... especially in 6th grade. Ok, anyways heres my story. There was a guy named Lee and he was very cute.I never knew him but when i seen him in the halls he would just smile at me and my heart would litteraly skip a beat. I could always feel myself blushing. This girl in my grade (nikki) who i am kind of friends with liked him a lot. He flirted with her all the time and we all knew he wasn't serious cuz they just like to tease around with us becuase we are younger. Well he had a g/f and she broke up with him so he went straight to nikki and flirted with her to make his old g/f jealous and want him back. He then kissed her on the lips. His old g/f didn't care but nikki wanted him really bad after that. She started talking to him more and wanted to go out with him. He was sort of known as a player. Though, he is the sweetest guys you can meet. I was talking to him on the internet one day and him and nikki were still just the flirting type and i would secretly just flirt with him on the internet becuase knowning nikki, she would hate me for even talking to him like that. Lee and Nikki were in a fight and i can't even remember it was so stupid. So i told Lee that me and him should secretly go out. I was totaly kidding. But he REALLY took it serious. We started emailing eachother all the time and talked about EVERYTHING. He called me and at first i was so nervous to talk to him, but then we could talk about anything in the world! We both dreamt of the same love. One night we talked until 6 30 in the morning. I have NEVER been so close to a guy before like that. Nikki got over him. Lee and I started telling people we were going out but now that i was in 7th grade i still felt stupid to go out with someone 2 years older than me. i dind't know what people thought about me. He was the type that it felt like we were married and i didn't really like that feeling. It scared me and he said he wanted to be with me forever and he said "i love you" all the time. I knew he coudln't have felt already or even know what it meant. I always got blushy around him and when i met his family and stuff i was so nervous. We started to get closer. And i was afraid to make-out with him. We never did make out. I always felt stupid to around his best friend becuase i had a sense that he thought i was stupid. It came around 8th grade and Nikki and i had EVERY class together and we became like best friends. I really seen the good in her and we told eachother everything. Well in the summer Lee was at his friends house Dustin. Dustin is a huge pot smoker and drinker. I went over to his house to go and see if Lee wanted to hang out with me at the fair. He had a beer in his hand. I was in total shock, i asked him why he had that. He looked like he was crying to. He said becuase he heard that i cheated on him. I didn't think it was possible that he belived that becuase i didn't even feel good enough with him becuase i was nervous to make out with him. He said Nikki told him that. I was soo mad and sad. I tried to tell him no, and he believed me. I left Dustins house mad. Then the next morning i got a call from my good friend Cara and she said that Nikki was at Dustins and she made out with Lee. That meant that Lee cheated on me! I was soo hurt. I cried. I cried for the other fact becuase Lee and me didn't even get a chance to make out. I told him i wanted to do it when the time was right. I met him after his practice by his moped and he started crying and said he screwed up his life. i was also crying. I wanted to hug him so bad. He said he was to drunk and of course he said he would never do that to me. He hated Nikki for taking advantage of him. I hated Nikki to. Now it is later in the 8th grade year and Nikki and I settled everything and omg did she feel horrible. A month later i ended up breaking up with Lee and i felt terrible becuase we were always off and on becuase of me. And we always seemed to go right back out agian becuase it just felt so happy and right. It didn't end up that way. It was the end i guess. And he started goign after this girl in his grade who i really strongly dislike becuase she spread some bad rumors about me. Luckily people believed me and knew me for who i am. Lee made out with her all the time. Well one night i was hanging out with one of Lee's friends and Lee was driving us around. It was very awkward. Lee's friend went inside the house and it was just me and Lee in the car. We said we would be right back because Lee had to pick someone else up. I always dreamed of just riding in a car with him becuase we haven't been together for so long. We were just sitting there in a parking lot and i let him finger me. It was actually something specail because we have never gone that far and i felt all the feelings again. i felt so in love at that moment. Things ran through my head that he was the one i wanted. Later on that night Lee told me he got really jealous when i was with his friend and flirting with is friend. It was a very awkward night. Then on New Years (2 days later) i heard he fingered that girl that i dislike so much. I was really really hurt once again. I was hoping he'd had an explanation for it. Even though we werne't goin out, i was still hurt. I cried and he brought her over to my house with him and i chewed her out and slammed the door in her face. I hate to see him with her. I hate it so much i cry every night. I NEVER thought he would hurt me. He was the one that always talked how much he loved/liked me. Now i'm the one having to tell him. I can't stop thinking about him. Even if i get nervous sometimes and around other people i don't, it doesn't matter. When i try to like someone else, Lee is the first thing that comes to mind. Well just a few days ago i texted him and said lets be friends that tell eachother everything and i'll be understandble and help you out with your g/f. We talk about every night now, but it still doesn't seem like he's sorry or cares for what hes done. I want him to want me like i want him. What should I do?
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