Outline
I've been committed 5x
and all spoiled a great romance.
I don't want to get committed again
and I don't want to live with you either.
At this point in my life,
I don't want to own someone special.
I just want to enjoy one.
I don't want to be your everything.
I would much rather be that somebody.
Who... see more you see once or twice a week.
And who makes you feel good.
Would that be okay?
 
She deserves more than I could ever give her. There was a time where we shared our love for each other. I did not protect that love. I abandoned it. I lost her. We had something special. Our love was pure. Innocent. Somewhere inside me I knew what was the right thing to do.Yet, I failed. I only thought... see more for myself. I was selfish. She gave me her trust. I took advantage. I was wrong.All this time my true love was in front of me. I blinded myself. I saw all but didn’t see her.She waited and waited some more. Through the years her love never faded. There was hope in her heart. My heart was empty. She wanted to fill that hurt.People say in time we eventually learn from our mistakes. She will always be the one I failed to keep. The one I let go. When all this time she was just trying to build our home.
I cannot trust you.
Do you think that I don't know what is going on.
I cannot trust you.
Like I don't know you, how long have we been together?
I cannot trust you.
I am not stupid, I just don't care anyone. You don't respect me, so I will not respect you.
Ans still, I cannot trust you. 
We are together... see more for the 'family' that we have but we are far from in love.
I am yours when you want people to see me being yours, yet you do not include me in all aspects of your life.
So, I cannot trust you.
I see the people you talk with, I see how you do not include me in your social life.
I see how you leave to talk on the phone or how you delete messages from your phone.
I will not trust you.
You always wonder why I do not answer your phone or look at your phone.
It is not because I hope to never find anything, it is because I know what is there and I am tired of accidentally finding things.
Yet, you want me to trust you.
Just as I get comfortable with you I see messages like, "hey boo" or "I miss you too," with new names and old names...Bonnie, huh.
I want to just snap on you, raise my voice, scream "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURTS!" 
You will not change and I will not forgive you.
 
The devil stays busy, so should you.
     His intentions are to rob and that is what he will do
He feeds your fears and insecurities
     Slowly showing you misconstrued images of how things could be
Steal your joy, and love, and peace, and wealth
     Stealing so much of you that you will not... see more even know yourself
When you have figured out what is wrong
     It will be nearly too late, so much lost and so much gone
But even then, at the darkest times, when you cannot feel
     The light of God will help you heal
You must follow his path and ever stray
    All the while remembering that he is the light of the day
 
Sorrow has made a theftNo joy to kindly upliftMind is terribly upsetDo I to fate owe a debt?Fate is cunning terriblyI am living very feeblyRelations are demolishedHappiness is finishedDevils laugh at me loudlyAfter downing me cruellyMind is feeling devastatedAs bitterness is by it tastedGloom has... see more made a tentIn my heart to badly huntI am made mentally blindAs nothing good, I findSun and Moon come and goTo be happy, I don"t knowHeart feels life's severe weightWorry has shown its real mightMy hopes are shatteredI am terribly batteredI only to God ever appealHoping He would healHe alone is my true hopePrayer alone gives scopeI possess no gutsBut, in heart, cutsI am madly drivenAway from HeavenBy fate, I am kickedBy devils, I am trickedI run madly here and thereAs there is none to careGod goes away from meBy behaving like an enemyMy path has thornsGetting sad dawnsI am to suffer destinedTo quit, I have opined.
mvvenkataraman
 
There's a moment
A feeling
A falling
A breaking in my mind
I've looked and looked
Wandered and wondered
And I can not find
They say there's a light
But I'm losing this fight
Not sure I ever had it
A thousand lifetimes
I've imagined
And not one
Is etched in stone
Love can soothe our emotion
And give us the best elation
Having a kind relation
Is a lovely possible sedation
 
When love is in our possession
We succeed in our mission
As love gives us permission
To reach our destination
 
Love gives us real protection
It makes us do the best action
It gives to two... see more great satisfaction
Its greatness is just no fiction
 
Love can give maximum cooperation
By avoiding in life possible separation
When love is in its noble operation
Joy to enter makes a preparation
 
Love puts to heart a healing lubrication
It creates in life a comfortable occasion
Peace of mind, only love can sanction
Love makes our soul normally function.
 
mvvenkataraman
 
 
Love can give us great power
As it makes us a believer
It will bring sure progress
As magic, it does possess
When we are by someone loved
Happiness is to us then allowed
We feel finely joyful and cheerful
As to heal, love is very helpful
Love is always a tonic
It makes us never panic
When... see more love is by us had
To our cheer, it will add
When love is in our side
Our happiness turns wide
We feel immensely blessed
We are by nothing depressed
Love stops disappointment
It gives us a kind sentiment
He who loves feels like a King
Joy to all, his thoughts bring.
mvvenkataraman


#love, #heart, #strength, #joy
You think I care whether you see?
I couldn't give a rats ass what you think of me
I come here because it has been my place
Long before I ever saw your face
I wouldn't marry her
To spite you, or out of hate for you
If you must know it ain't got shit to do with you
I've finally figured out
I'm... see more much better without
If you must know?
Its because I'm happy in ways I never imagined
And at peace with me and all I have and ever will be
I go to work, and sometimes I hate it
But I do it for her
No its not always flashy
Romeo and Juliet
Dumb shit
Like how I was at 18
But I've come to realize
That was a lie
From the moment I met your eyes

#idgafra
You are right, I hate you.
But the why... well, that just isn't true.
When it comes right down to it
All my pain rests on your unforgiving shit.
How I loved you, and was unwilling to let go until it was too late
And I lost the only one that you have ever truly shown more hate.
More hate than you... see more have shown me.
You post your underhanded shit on here, just to see.
But the thing that hurts the most is that I do.
I see it all, too.
You want to marry the woman you lie to
But you want me to stop you.
You try to nudge this door again, once more.
But it is still firmly bolted to the core.
Make your decisions but stop living in the past.
You have one life to live, so live it fast.
Before you know it the best thing is far away.
And you're lefting hating someone else at the end of the day.
And, before I end this letter to you.
I want you to know what I think is true.
You will never be happy because you dont want to be.
But I feel like I am starting to finally find me.
Maybe the reason I ever met you...
Was to become the person that fell in love, too.
While that's vague and unclear, that's okay by me.
I won't let the secret out before it's just meant to be.#dont, #care
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There's a ring in my pocket
A thought on my mind
All the barriers I could find
Long tumbled and over grown
I guess all there is now
Is to ask it#love
I walked about my second home
A town I had come to know
With friends and laughter
And echo's of yesteryear
I didn't shed a single tear
Here and there were memories
Ghosts only I could see
Its been too long
Its way too far gone
Things I can never have again
I know why, I know how
I know, I... see more know, I know
Years later, I'm still bitter and angry
Confused and sad
I know its all in my head
For all it matters it might as well have been a figment of imagination
And even as I know that's not true
That it was the most important time of my life
All it is now...
Is ghosts in my head#life
Easy...true relationships should be easy and effortless as it begins to grow.
As you move through your relationship, nurturing begins.
Love is the sunshine, trials is the rain, lust is the strength and trust is the protection.
As at team both people must work together to make things grow.
Each day... see more that passes, the relationship grows stronger and lives grow together.
What was once two is now one and as days to months and then years, nurturing continues and love grows more.
Let your love stray not for that is the pruning and poisoning within a relationship.
It will kill the protection, strength, and sunshine leaving only the rain. With only rain, the relationship will die.
Don't let family, friends, or others prune or poison your relationship#love
I don’t think anyone could ever love you as much as me.The truth is…you’re my weakness…Many people look up to me. Some I know and others I will never know…But I do know I must stay strong for them…Your words mean so much to me that it replays in my mind and there’s no period. I repeat the... see more same sentences that made me fall in love with you. I think of you often…I lie...I think of you everyday…The seconds seem to be hours and the days seem to be years when I am not with you. The biggest regret I have ever done is leaving you behind…When my heart told me to stay…My mind confused it with thoughts of “where would you live? How would you survive?” The heart slowly was battling these thoughts and for some reason I heard my voice say “good-bye” I know you don’t see me in the same light that is why I will always remain in the shade. The lost shadows that are never noticed and ignored. I don’t know if you know this but when I get emotional I like to look outside the window and view “life” people, trees, birds, and the sky for I know that somewhere in the world someone is doing the same as me. I have smiled for years and lost my heart along the way. I covered it with hope…When internally I was breaking down…I have traveled great distances and along the way particles of my heart can be found…Many wondered…many questioned: How such a person as myself could not have someone to share this type of love. I found myself questioning the same reason. Maybe I was meant not to love but to inspire people to love. I had a moment to share my feelings with you…That moment we don’t always get. People spend a lifetime for such occurrence. Some never get to experience it. I was very lucky to have my moment of clarity when I found you. Your words captivated me and your presence gave me ease. Do you remember when I first told you that I love you? It meant the world to me…I came a long way and even though I didn’t take you with me. I took the most precious thing from you. When the world around us was silent…Just you and I…I looked at you…you smiled with thoughts wondering… For the first time I felt serenity. Internally healed. Alive again. I felt you. I would like to believe in that moment our hearts were beating at the same time. We were connected. Like the feeling of the breath before the kiss and the touch of your embrace. Erased everything I ever knew. Within that moment I knew nothing but you…You were my world…and everything I ever believed in I saw through you…It was you that brought me here. I had you…Even for just a moment. We had each other. I left my heart behind but my memories traveled with me. I cherish those thoughts…Remember when you wrote my name on the stone wall? You were being silly but I took a picture of it. I imagined you writing my name on your heart.#stone, #wall, #love
Somewhere along the way we became distant. We let time get the best of us. Time is something we still don’t value as much anymore. Remember when life was a dream and being young was so innocent? Those were good days. We didn’t have much worries and the summers seem to be our heaven. Time has changed.... see more We have changed. Eventually we grew apart. Throughout the years those lectures made our dream become a realistic reality. The summers seem to be just hot and the concerns grew rapidly. Growing up decreased our time together. Made us change priorities and somehow who we are. Time is so precious when you really reflect how it was spent. Did I ever say ‘I love you’? but meant it? Did I know what such emotion felt like then? Would it even come close to what I feel now for you? The universe is unique but predicable. When you really put much thought you will realize it’s just a circle. Some call this a ‘Circle of Life’ Others may call it ‘Destiny’ I don’t claim to be a philosopher but I can’t help to make time valuable. To cherish the most littlest moments. The ones that captures our smile and open our hearts to a new reality. My thoughts have numbed me. For what I feel is nothing more than an illusion. How can one feel something that is not real? I dreamt of you many years ago. When my dreams were encouraged and prayers brought us closer together. I remember watching you brushing your hair off your face as the wind blew. Uncovering your smile…the one that forever is engraved in my spiritual heart. I didn’t think you were real. Then I met you. At an unexpected place at an unexpected time. We shared moments…moments is what we had. Time is what was left. Sometimes I wish we haven’t met. Because time would have never existed between us. The clock started when he finally saw each other. Time is what I wish I had more of. More time to know you. Because of time it changed us. The world around us. It created a new reality. You had to depart and so did I. Change comes with time….and time is always in search of change. Because of this change we will never have time.#love, #changes, #time, #distant, #forgotten, #changed


I used to be so alive inside

But in the army something died

I don't know what, I don't know how

But I'll relight that fire

Even if it kills me

Cause losing you was close enough to death

But losing me was something worse#life
As I learn every day of the person I'll be...
I think you would turn in disappointment of me.
If you could really see the darkest parts of my heart.
You would feel the hatred and it'd tear you apart.
I would like to think that the good shows through...
But I've never been able to fool you.
And... see more despite all the love I feel every day...
I feel sorrow for the world that tears you away.
Seeing your face, lay asleep on that bed...
I realized the end, closing in with sick dread.
And I can't say a word, only write of this pain.
Because I can't imagine a world where you're slain....
My fiercest support& my closest friend.
I don't think I'd be okay if this is the end.
I'm throwing my hands up& releasing the reins.
God, I beg you to cure her of pains.
Don't take her away from me, because I have so much to tell...
Don't take my friend and drag me through Hell.
It seems we always have more to say when we need you...
But I promise to work on my steps to follow through.
If you grant me this wish and please cure her pain...
I'll find a way to love once again.
I'll share your love and joy every day...
Express myself& help me find words to say.
To tell her I'm sorry that I left her alone...
And was only there over the phone.
If this is the end, I still love you, it's true.
If this is the end, please wait for me, too.#family
Love can happen at any ageA loving mind faces no damageAffection can be kindly shownOur love must be made knownLove has the power to healBefore love, all Gods kneelLove makes happiness growLove eradicates totally sorrowSky's love gives us Sun and rainAnd a Moon to in hard-work trainHe who can't love... see more is an idiotOnly deep agonies, he will getHe who loves is a true geniusHe has the blessings of JesusAnalyze a soul by its kindnessAs kindness brings calmnessLoving is a policy that is divineAs it makes mood of all fineHe who knows not how to loveIs not favored by the God-above.mvvenkataraman#love, #kindness, #tender, #soft
You will grow but only you will know for how long.
Friends will come but many will go.
Family will stay but some will leave you too.
Relationships will be built but many will hurt you.
Success will show but not always before or after you fail first.
You will gain it all but you will lose it all... see more too.
Love will come but will betray you because you won’t know any better first time around.
Mistakes will take place and you will be wiping tears off your face.
The bathroom will be the safest place you can be yourself. As you look at the mirror and go through many thoughts.
You will fall and feel alone in the dark.
Influential things will take its course but ultimately its up to you to be the victim or the one who avoids it all.
Fights will come but not all punches must land on your face.
The beauty of fights you don’t always have to run but stand tall and walk away.
There will be tests brought to your attention but you don’t always have to pass them.
Learn from mistakes and don’t recreate them.
You start your education after graduation. Never let anyone tell you any different.
Teachers will teach but you will only remember the educators. Listen to them.
Secrets will be shared but you don’t always have to pass it along or hear them.
Sometimes things are better said and also not said at all.
I know you will get confused and not everything must make sense to you.
Not all you will go through must have an answer.
Understanding is key but you create the lock to the door you are trying to open to life.
You will try and fail. You will try and fail.
You will try until you realize that trying is better than failing.
Life is precious don’t end it right away.
Speak to someone.
Listen to what others before your time have to say.
Stress will occur.
Solutions will come.
Conflicts will surface.
Circumstances will dominate.
Take a step back.
Breathe and rejuvenate.
Live life not like is your last day but like you just started life today.#life, #mistakes, #lugo, #felixlugo, #inspire
The last memory I have of you is watching you wave goodbye to me through the bus window as you went home.
Tears flowing down my face.
My heart was with you.
I walked along the streets that night, alone.
Reflecting the time we spent together.
At given times I would stop walking and close my eyes.
Feel... see more the night breeze.
Hear the street noises
and somewhere throughout my thoughts
I could feel that last hug.
Last kiss on my cheek.
The scent of your perfume.
Telling you how much I love you.
That no matter where I am in the world if you should ever need me I will find you.
You mean so much to me.
Your words. Your smile.
Your eyes that looked ever so beautiful that night.
Time has past so quickly.
I know you will find the love you could not feel for me.
Just as @brunomars sings I love you 'Just The Way You Are'
remember me as you are forever engraved in my heart.#love, #remember, #lugo, #loving, #lost
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