My heart is hurting more that you could know. Why do you choose to hurt me like you do. Did I deserve to be destroyed? Am I not worth your fidelity?
I wish I could make you feel my pain, but how could I...how could I even think of hurting you?
I am so broken right now, but even through my pain I still... see more care for you. I am still worried about you as you leave home everyday.
Married, with two children, and I loved you with all of me.
I gave you my love without consequence. Yet I am left to explain what happened to our "happily ever after."
Worked and struggled beside you, with you, for you, as a team. After all we have been through, was she worth it? Was she worth us?
Trust that has been broken, must be earned. I wish it would be easy to erase the past but my heart is stained.
I can honestly say that I loved you as Adam loved Eve and with the power that the moon has over the oceans.#worth

Love can give us great power
As it makes us a believer
It will bring sure progress
As magic, it does possess
When we are by someone loved
Happiness is to us then allowed
We feel finely joyful and cheerful
As to heal, love is very helpful
Love is always a tonic
It makes us never panic
When... see more love is by us had
To our cheer, it will add
When love is in our side
Our happiness turns wide
We feel immensely blessed
We are by nothing depressed
Love stops disappointment
It gives us a kind sentiment
He who loves feels like a King
Joy to all, his thoughts bring.
mvvenkataraman


#love, #heart, #strength, #joy

You think I care whether you see?
I couldn't give a rats ass what you think of me
I come here because it has been my place
Long before I ever saw your face
I wouldn't marry her
To spite you, or out of hate for you
If you must know it ain't got shit to do with you
I've finally figured out
I'm... see more much better without
If you must know?
Its because I'm happy in ways I never imagined
And at peace with me and all I have and ever will be
I go to work, and sometimes I hate it
But I do it for her
No its not always flashy
Romeo and Juliet
Dumb shit
Like how I was at 18
But I've come to realize
That was a lie
From the moment I met your eyes

#idgafra

You are right, I hate you.
But the why... well, that just isn't true.
When it comes right down to it
All my pain rests on your unforgiving shit.
How I loved you, and was unwilling to let go until it was too late
And I lost the only one that you have ever truly shown more hate.
More hate than you... see more have shown me.
You post your underhanded shit on here, just to see.
But the thing that hurts the most is that I do.
I see it all, too.
You want to marry the woman you lie to
But you want me to stop you.
You try to nudge this door again, once more.
But it is still firmly bolted to the core.
Make your decisions but stop living in the past.
You have one life to live, so live it fast.
Before you know it the best thing is far away.
And you're lefting hating someone else at the end of the day.
And, before I end this letter to you.
I want you to know what I think is true.
You will never be happy because you dont want to be.
But I feel like I am starting to finally find me.
Maybe the reason I ever met you...
Was to become the person that fell in love, too.
While that's vague and unclear, that's okay by me.
I won't let the secret out before it's just meant to be.#dont, #care

There's a ring in my pocket A thought on my mind All the barriers I could find Long tumbled and over grown I guess all there is now Is to ask it#love

I walked about my second home
A town I had come to know
With friends and laughter
And echo's of yesteryear
I didn't shed a single tear
Here and there were memories
Ghosts only I could see
Its been too long
Its way too far gone
Things I can never have again
I know why, I know how
I know, I... see more know, I know
Years later, I'm still bitter and angry
Confused and sad
I know its all in my head
For all it matters it might as well have been a figment of imagination
And even as I know that's not true
That it was the most important time of my life
All it is now...
Is ghosts in my head#life

Easy...true relationships should be easy and effortless as it begins to grow.
As you move through your relationship, nurturing begins.
Love is the sunshine, trials is the rain, lust is the strength and trust is the protection.
As at team both people must work together to make things grow.
Each day... see more that passes, the relationship grows stronger and lives grow together.
What was once two is now one and as days to months and then years, nurturing continues and love grows more.
Let your love stray not for that is the pruning and poisoning within a relationship.
It will kill the protection, strength, and sunshine leaving only the rain. With only rain, the relationship will die.
Don't let family, friends, or others prune or poison your relationship#love

I don’t think anyone could ever love you as much as me.The truth is…you’re my weakness…Many people look up to me. Some I know and others I will never know…But I do know I must stay strong for them…Your words mean so much to me that it replays in my mind and there’s no period. I repeat the... see more same sentences that made me fall in love with you. I think of you often…I lie...I think of you everyday…The seconds seem to be hours and the days seem to be years when I am not with you. The biggest regret I have ever done is leaving you behind…When my heart told me to stay…My mind confused it with thoughts of “where would you live? How would you survive?” The heart slowly was battling these thoughts and for some reason I heard my voice say “good-bye” I know you don’t see me in the same light that is why I will always remain in the shade. The lost shadows that are never noticed and ignored. I don’t know if you know this but when I get emotional I like to look outside the window and view “life” people, trees, birds, and the sky for I know that somewhere in the world someone is doing the same as me. I have smiled for years and lost my heart along the way. I covered it with hope…When internally I was breaking down…I have traveled great distances and along the way particles of my heart can be found…Many wondered…many questioned: How such a person as myself could not have someone to share this type of love. I found myself questioning the same reason. Maybe I was meant not to love but to inspire people to love. I had a moment to share my feelings with you…That moment we don’t always get. People spend a lifetime for such occurrence. Some never get to experience it. I was very lucky to have my moment of clarity when I found you. Your words captivated me and your presence gave me ease. Do you remember when I first told you that I love you? It meant the world to me…I came a long way and even though I didn’t take you with me. I took the most precious thing from you. When the world around us was silent…Just you and I…I looked at you…you smiled with thoughts wondering… For the first time I felt serenity. Internally healed. Alive again. I felt you. I would like to believe in that moment our hearts were beating at the same time. We were connected. Like the feeling of the breath before the kiss and the touch of your embrace. Erased everything I ever knew. Within that moment I knew nothing but you…You were my world…and everything I ever believed in I saw through you…It was you that brought me here. I had you…Even for just a moment. We had each other. I left my heart behind but my memories traveled with me. I cherish those thoughts…Remember when you wrote my name on the stone wall? You were being silly but I took a picture of it. I imagined you writing my name on your heart.#stone, #wall, #love

Somewhere along the way we became distant. We let time get the best of us. Time is something we still don’t value as much anymore. Remember when life was a dream and being young was so innocent? Those were good days. We didn’t have much worries and the summers seem to be our heaven. Time has changed.... see more We have changed. Eventually we grew apart. Throughout the years those lectures made our dream become a realistic reality. The summers seem to be just hot and the concerns grew rapidly. Growing up decreased our time together. Made us change priorities and somehow who we are. Time is so precious when you really reflect how it was spent. Did I ever say ‘I love you’? but meant it? Did I know what such emotion felt like then? Would it even come close to what I feel now for you? The universe is unique but predicable. When you really put much thought you will realize it’s just a circle. Some call this a ‘Circle of Life’ Others may call it ‘Destiny’ I don’t claim to be a philosopher but I can’t help to make time valuable. To cherish the most littlest moments. The ones that captures our smile and open our hearts to a new reality. My thoughts have numbed me. For what I feel is nothing more than an illusion. How can one feel something that is not real? I dreamt of you many years ago. When my dreams were encouraged and prayers brought us closer together. I remember watching you brushing your hair off your face as the wind blew. Uncovering your smile…the one that forever is engraved in my spiritual heart. I didn’t think you were real. Then I met you. At an unexpected place at an unexpected time. We shared moments…moments is what we had. Time is what was left. Sometimes I wish we haven’t met. Because time would have never existed between us. The clock started when he finally saw each other. Time is what I wish I had more of. More time to know you. Because of time it changed us. The world around us. It created a new reality. You had to depart and so did I. Change comes with time….and time is always in search of change. Because of this change we will never have time.#love, #changes, #time, #distant, #forgotten, #changed

I used to be so alive inside But in the army something died I don't know what, I don't know how But I'll relight that fire Even if it kills me Cause losing you was close enough to death But losing me was something worse#life

As I learn every day of the person I'll be...
I think you would turn in disappointment of me.
If you could really see the darkest parts of my heart.
You would feel the hatred and it'd tear you apart.
I would like to think that the good shows through...
But I've never been able to fool you.
And... see more despite all the love I feel every day...
I feel sorrow for the world that tears you away.
Seeing your face, lay asleep on that bed...
I realized the end, closing in with sick dread.
And I can't say a word, only write of this pain.
Because I can't imagine a world where you're slain....
My fiercest support& my closest friend.
I don't think I'd be okay if this is the end.
I'm throwing my hands up& releasing the reins.
God, I beg you to cure her of pains.
Don't take her away from me, because I have so much to tell...
Don't take my friend and drag me through Hell.
It seems we always have more to say when we need you...
But I promise to work on my steps to follow through.
If you grant me this wish and please cure her pain...
I'll find a way to love once again.
I'll share your love and joy every day...
Express myself& help me find words to say.
To tell her I'm sorry that I left her alone...
And was only there over the phone.
If this is the end, I still love you, it's true.
If this is the end, please wait for me, too.#family

Love can happen at any ageA loving mind faces no damageAffection can be kindly shownOur love must be made knownLove has the power to healBefore love, all Gods kneelLove makes happiness growLove eradicates totally sorrowSky's love gives us Sun and rainAnd a Moon to in hard-work trainHe who can't love... see more is an idiotOnly deep agonies, he will getHe who loves is a true geniusHe has the blessings of JesusAnalyze a soul by its kindnessAs kindness brings calmnessLoving is a policy that is divineAs it makes mood of all fineHe who knows not how to loveIs not favored by the God-above.mvvenkataraman#love, #kindness, #tender, #soft

You will grow but only you will know for how long.
Friends will come but many will go.
Family will stay but some will leave you too.
Relationships will be built but many will hurt you.
Success will show but not always before or after you fail first.
You will gain it all but you will lose it all... see more too.
Love will come but will betray you because you won’t know any better first time around.
Mistakes will take place and you will be wiping tears off your face.
The bathroom will be the safest place you can be yourself. As you look at the mirror and go through many thoughts.
You will fall and feel alone in the dark.
Influential things will take its course but ultimately its up to you to be the victim or the one who avoids it all.
Fights will come but not all punches must land on your face.
The beauty of fights you don’t always have to run but stand tall and walk away.
There will be tests brought to your attention but you don’t always have to pass them.
Learn from mistakes and don’t recreate them.
You start your education after graduation. Never let anyone tell you any different.
Teachers will teach but you will only remember the educators. Listen to them.
Secrets will be shared but you don’t always have to pass it along or hear them.
Sometimes things are better said and also not said at all.
I know you will get confused and not everything must make sense to you.
Not all you will go through must have an answer.
Understanding is key but you create the lock to the door you are trying to open to life.
You will try and fail. You will try and fail.
You will try until you realize that trying is better than failing.
Life is precious don’t end it right away.
Speak to someone.
Listen to what others before your time have to say.
Stress will occur.
Solutions will come.
Conflicts will surface.
Circumstances will dominate.
Take a step back.
Breathe and rejuvenate.
Live life not like is your last day but like you just started life today.#life, #mistakes, #lugo, #felixlugo, #inspire

The last memory I have of you is watching you wave goodbye to me through the bus window as you went home.
Tears flowing down my face.
My heart was with you.
I walked along the streets that night, alone.
Reflecting the time we spent together.
At given times I would stop walking and close my eyes.
Feel... see more the night breeze.
Hear the street noises
and somewhere throughout my thoughts
I could feel that last hug.
Last kiss on my cheek.
The scent of your perfume.
Telling you how much I love you.
That no matter where I am in the world if you should ever need me I will find you.
You mean so much to me.
Your words. Your smile.
Your eyes that looked ever so beautiful that night.
Time has past so quickly.
I know you will find the love you could not feel for me.
Just as @brunomars sings I love you 'Just The Way You Are'
remember me as you are forever engraved in my heart.#love, #remember, #lugo, #loving, #lost

If I could I would kiss that
person more softly
and whisper “I love you”
quietly when the world is asleep.
Say a prayer and ask God to
forgive me for this mental affair.
Why do I notice everything they
wear?
The beautiful scent as they walk
by me
gets these feelings going crazy
that... see more I can’t even bare
and how I don’t mean to
but I can’t help but to stare.
Do they value you, as you are
truly rare?
Unique kind.
The one you wine, dine and get
home before nine.
Spend longer nights together.
Wish you were my charm.
Protect you from harm.
Keeping you close within my
arms.
Do they notice me looking at
you?
Do they know how I keep my
thoughts trapped in my heart?
Do you know how I wish for that
time if you ever part and finally let another person in your heart?
So smart, keeps the arms around
them to let the world know they are taken.
I feel I’ve been forsaken.
I love you but I wouldn’t dare.
My love now is having thoughts
too that it feels like we won’t make it through.
I made love to you multiple
times.
We live so peacefully in my
mind.
Life is so unfair.
They cheated.
I never did.


But I sure had many mental
affairs… #mental, #affair, #love, #lugo

Before you I was lost.
A man with reason but no cause.
I felt cold and many times lost.
Confused and far from feeling love yet so close.
Most times I almost lost control.
One night I drove with no sense of direction or destination.
I drove for miles...
With no smile yet with tears.
How could... see more I have gone feeling like this for years?
Then, I realized that in time my love was true.
It was there but didn't realize it was meant for you.
You brought light to my darkest thoughts.
You made me smile when my heart was torn.
I was weak but through you I was able to recover.
What I found was there all along.
My true other half. My lover.
It's not simple as it sounds.
In fact we both have difficult backgrounds.
If you feel what I feel.
Then you know that we can go beyond this wall and create something real.
There's no distance that could keep us apart.
Because when one heart beats another one starts.
In time we both shall meet again.
Until that time...I finally feel alive again.#love, #lugo, #felix, #alive, #again, #lost, #loved

There are times I can't help but to think about the past. The moments we shared. The intriguing conversations and about possibly having a relationship. Though most of the time it was me speaking. You just smiled and said "but we're friends" If you only knew how much it hurt when you say those words.... see more How in my heart I wish we were more. Before you I didn't believe I could love again. I thought it was a fantasy. Dreams that were never a reality but a great feeling to think about. I remember the first I met you and how you hugged me like we knew each other for years. Maybe we did in another life. We have so much in common that at times we could even finish each other's sentences. It almost felt like we were destined to be. I don't know much about life because I haven't lived that long to really explain it. But I do know that I love you. You may think I can't possibly be in love with you. Sometimes I question these emotions. So if loving you is accepting that you won't be in my life then I have to live with that. As much as I want you I know you wouldn't look at me the same. That's ok. Because I want to leave where love is. I don't want to mess with it. Damage it. Implement self doubts. I know the love that exists in me for you is not influenced, conditioned or have any reservations. It's pure. Sometimes in life...in order to keep things pure you have to leave it alone. So as much as I would like to reach for you. Like the stars in the sky I know it's possible but every now and then I'll look up and smile thinking of you.... #early, #thoughts, #lugo, #lugofelix

I appreciate the efforts you
add in your beauty
that others don’t always see.
I take notice.
The way you put on different
shades of foundation.
The eyeliner and mascara you
use that compliments your natural eyes.
That heavenly scent of perfume
you splash on your body
before you start your... see more day.
I take notice in every way.
Those shoes that you wear
and how you brush your hair
to go with every pair.
The bracelets, rings, and
your favorite jeans…
Maybe I observe too closely…
Maybe I wonder why you go
through so much
when your natural beauty is
much more captivating
than anything I could ever
see in a magazine or TV.
How I look at my closet
that’s nowhere compared to yours.
Shelves with bottles of
lotion, perfumes, jewelry,
and so many other items that
society calls “beauty”
but between you and I…
your natural self is what
really captured me…

Don’t always cover your natural
beauty…Let it be….#beauty, #hurts, #lost, #love, #cover, #makeup

Her
voice speaks for her in my mind.
Words
so profound I often questioned: ‘but why I?’
Lost in
time I was for I thought I had no other half.
The
empty room that exists in my heart waiting to be filled with such love.
The
place where I dreamt a family would exist.
Her,
kissing me as I... see more watched our kids play at ease.
What
has happened to this belief?
I need
her to see me.
I
screamed and waved my hands as high as I could.
“Kiss
her” ---I would if this life was that simple.
I’m
like the rock when thrown into a lake to create ripples.
Sinking
down with no way to climb.
Wishing she would keep the rock instead of
throwing it away each time.
How
I’ve spent my hours thinking she was mine.
In this
life or the next. God, show me a sign.
Let me
know if this is the one or is it the same as last time.
Could
she be thinking the same?
I don’t
want to blame.
At
times I feel ashamed.
Maybe
that extra word, gesture, or movement could have started the flame.
What if
I could have prevented all of this?

Maybe,
if I wasn’t so shy giving her an unexpected kiss….#love, #lugo, #felix, #ripples, #lost, #loved

She speaks in silence. One could only imagine these words so profound. Her essence carry such beauty. Quiet yet so loud. The warmth touch of her hand. The sound of our combined heartbeats when we hugged. For that moment I felt loved. She smiles with a glow that shines her eyes. I dreamt of a time I kissed... see more her slowly. Stars lit the night as she leaned against me. She listened to my soul as my hand caressed her head against my chest. For this moment I wish would never end. Time has taken so much from us. The seconds feel like hours and sometimes even years. Fear not that one day we would be right in that moment again. Where for the first time in a long time we shall unite in a way that will last forever. The moment we both shall fall in love again.#love, #lugo, #felixlugo, #lugofelix, #moment, #moments